Student Writes Essay About Costco Hot Dogs, Gets Into Five Ivy League Schools

Forget being an all-star athlete and honor roll student to get into an ivy league school, just take a stroll through Costco!

Brittany Stinson, an 18-year-old senior at Concord High School in Wilmington, Delaware, just found out last week that she got into Yale, University of Pennsylvania, Dartmouth, Columbia, Cornell, and Stanford. Her secret? A Costco essay. Yes, Costco.

Give it a read below:

Managing to break free from my mother’s grasp, I charged. With arms flailing and chubby legs fluttering beneath me, I was the ferocious two­ year old rampaging through Costco on a Saturday morning. My mother’s eyes widened in horror as I jettisoned my churro; the cinnamon ­sugar rocket gracefully sliced its way through the air while I continued my spree. I sprinted through the aisles, looking up in awe at the massive bulk products that towered over me. Overcome with wonder, I wanted to touch and taste, to stick my head into industrial­-sized freezers, to explore every crevice. I was a conquistador, but rather than searching the land for El Dorado, I scoured aisles for free samples. Before inevitably being whisked away into a shopping cart, I scaled a mountain of plush toys and surveyed the expanse that lay before me: the kingdom of Costco.

Notorious for its oversized portions and dollar-­fifty hot dog combo, Costco is the apex of consumerism. From the days spent being toted around in a shopping cart to when I was finally tall enough to reach lofty sample trays, Costco has endured a steady presence throughout my life. As a veteran Costco shopper, I navigate the aisles of foodstuffs, thrusting the majority of my weight upon a generously filled shopping cart whose enormity juxtaposes my small frame. Over time, I’ve developed a habit of observing fellow patrons tote their carts piled with frozen burritos, cheese puffs, tubs of ice cream, and weight-­loss supplements. Perusing the aisles gave me time to ponder. Who needs three pounds of sour cream? Was cultured yogurt any more well­-mannered than its uncultured counterpart? Costco gave birth to my unfettered curiosity.

Read the full essay here.

Via Facebook

Stinson (left). Via Facebook

Granted, Stinson is also an awesome student and this essay is written damn well. “Jettisoned my churro”?! That’s a total SAT word and would make any admissions department cream their jeans.

“I’m sort of still in shock. I don’t think I’ve processed everything yet,” she said.

I mean tbh, this was the most eloquent piece I’ve ever read about someone stuffing their face with free samples. She deserves every one of those acceptance letters in my book. Brittany Stinson, you’re my hero.

Via Business Insider

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