25 Ridiculous Quotes from Our Favorite ‘Bachelorette’ Villain, Chad Johnson

Ah, Chad Johnson. The Bachelorette villain we all love to hate. Whether he was stuffing his face with lunch meat at the rose ceremony cocktail parties or creepily sliding his hand down the window, Chad was easily one the most exciting and controversial personalities on the hit reality competition series. Chad had some amazing quotes during his stint on the show and we’ve compiled a list of our favorites for your pure enjoyment. Get ready, here are the 25 best Chad-isms from The Bachelorette. You’re welcome.

  1. “I’m gonna have some protein shakes, keep working out, keep eating the food, and continue to do what I do. At the end of the day, I’m going to get the girl.”

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  2. “She’s gonna keep Alex around because she doesn’t want America to think she hates short people.”

  3. “I always warn girls, I always say: Stay away from the nice guys.” (WTF)

  4. “If you’re making a protein shake, made of the group of dudes here, and, y’know, blended it up… half that dude-protein-shake would have zero chance with JoJo.”

  5. “Forgive me if I’m not going to be fake. I’m not an actor. You look like you are right now, so that’s cool.”

  6. “You’re starting off a little naggy here. If I’m getting nagged, I’m gonna say something.”

  7. “Apparently Evan just bleeds thinking about me.”

  8. “In other words, it is not a wise decision to poke the Chad-bear.”

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  9. “You’re the spokesman right now, you’re the spokesman for Chad’s the Asshole.”

  10. “Have a glass of milk, man, and chill out.”

  11. “Milk’s DELICIOUS.”

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  12. “The only way I can get you to shut your mouth is to hit you in it.”
  13. “Maybe I can just keep being chill, but I think apparently you have to take it TO THE LIMIT in order to get back cool again. So maybe it’s game time.”

  14. “Pigs are in the castle.”

  15. “Alex lied. He told her that I threatened people. And you know what? Now I gotta go find Alex.”

  16. “It’s so unfortunate that I can’t hurt you without getting in trouble right now.”

  17. “Myself in 10 years.” – Chad’s role model

  18. “You got the bleeding crying sensitive guy with kids. And then you’ve got scared of people sensitive guy. This guy’s over here here doing yoga.”

  19. “No girl on Planet Earth ever chooses Evan… for anything… other than to come, like, sweep their front yard.”

  20. “You’re gonna f***ing die if you don’t chill out.”

  21. “Financially, I’m ready for a relationship.”

  22. “These guys are acting like really old, worn-out-looking… high school kids.”

  23. “If I want JoJo, I will get her.”

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  24. “I don’t like getting into confrontations with people.”

  25. “Are you that broke? I thought you owned dick companies.”

Chad is truly being his authentic self. And for that, we love him.

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