People are Protesting the Pumpkin Spice Latte Because They Have Nothing Better to Do

With the end of August comes the end of summer, according to the commercialism that runs this nation. And that means fall. Leaves falling off of trees, scarves, Halloween decorations, and of course… the pumpkin spice latte. Even though fall doesn’t technically start until late September and it’s probably still hot outside, you’ll see tons of people walking around with the fall favorite in their hands as soon as they can.

Well, apparently, that’s the final straw for some people. There are many who not only hate celebrating fall “too early” but are actually spending time and energy into protesting the PSL. One particular protestor, Sean Bauer, has decided that it’s his unofficial mission to start a revolution, one that he has called “Stop Premature Pumpkin Spicing.” Ha. Hilarious.

Over the last two years, Bauer has targeted chains like Starbucks and Wawa in Philadelphia with handmade orange signs and anti-pumpkin Instagram posts. Philly Voice reports that he stood outside the Starbucks at Chestnut Street last year, while this week he was spotted outside the Walnut Street Wawa with his co-worker Billy Cress.”This is an issue no political candidate has been talking about this summer,” Cress told Philly Voice, sounding oddly serious about the fact that he’s protesting pumpkin. “That’s why when Sean asked me to join the fight against this epidemic, I was immediately on board. Join the movement.”

The irony is that Starbucks hasn’t even announced when the PSL will return, let alone started selling them. “I always see people talking about the drama surrounding this pumpkin-spice thing. When some people think about fall, they think of horrible artificial taste. We don’t see it that way,” Bauer explained to Philly Voice. “When I think about fall, I’m picturing myself wearing a flannel shirt, drinking something like apple cider, not a sugary, fake nutmeg taste.” This is despite the fact that apples are actually a winter fruit. Just sayin’.

The duo even went into the Wawa that they were protesting and bought one to sample it, which seems really confusing to me. They concluded that it wasn’t even really that good, so they didn’t get the craze. So the premise of their protesting is “I don’t like this and you shouldn’t either.” Pretty sure we have 240 years worth of why that argument doesn’t work.

Meanwhile, the hashtag #stopprematurepumpkinspicing is kinda-sorta catching on by other people who have nothing better to do than to sit around and hate on everyone else’s joy. It goes well with conservative politics, to no one’s surprise:

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#TuesdayTruth #stopprematurepumpkinspicing

A post shared by NikkiCeeRoos (@crazy_mother_hustler) on

Pretty sure you’re the life ruiner here, buddy.

If only Bauer and Cress could take their dedication to protesting and put their energy to something that actually matters. Like combatting the racism and sexism that is inherent to our nation. Or demanding fairness from our justice system during rape cases. Or even saving puppies from those horrible puppy mills. But seriously? Pumpkin spice lattes are the worst problem they have? Okay then.

If you’ll excuse me, I’ll be happily sipping on my PSL the day Starbucks brings them back. If only I lived in Philly, so I could walk in front of Bauer and Cress just to see if their disdainful minds would explode.

[H/T: Cosmopolitan]

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