The Best New Way to Reject Unwanted Dick Pics: Formal Letters

Ah, the Internet. Where things get shared regardless of whether you want to see them or not. Chances are, if you’re a female person on social media, you’ve gotten an unsolicited dick pic in your messages before. Probably multiple. For some reason, men can’t seem to get it out of their heads that it’s a terrible conversation starter and most people don’t want to see that particular part of your anatomy unless explicitly asked.

But then a woman named Sarah-Louise Jordan came up with an incredible solution to the epidemic: she penned up a formal rejection letter explaining why some guy’s dick pics were not doing it for her. And it’s the most glorious thing we’ve ever read. It was initially posted on Twitter by user @maellevie (who is not Jordan) and people are losing their damn minds over it:


Oh man, do we want to shake Jordan’s hand right now.

“We regret to inform you that it has failed to pass our most basic standards of quality control at this time” is suddenly the most savage insult known to man. In case you were wondering what those “basic standards” are, they consist of 1. consent and 2. literally nothing else. In other words, don’t send “penis portraits” if the person you’re messaging doesn’t ask for it.

If you do, be prepared for some of these personalized booklets, which we will send to you whether or not you want them. Here’s the rest of the letter:


Not even the North Pole can salvage those burns. It’s the formality of this rejection letter that truly makes for such savage insults. We can’t truly pick a favorite part of this letter, but the note in the parenthesizes makes us tear up with laughter and also pride every time.

Of course, the original Tweet is making its way around the Internet, with hundreds of likes and retweets. Most people find it as hilarious as we do, probably because they too know the feeling of suddenly having a less-than-impressive member surprising them in their inbox. Wherever Jordan is, we sincerely hope she is using this letter because it is one that deserves to be sent.

[H/T: Elite Daily]

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