Your Boyfriend’s Signature Line Is Actually True: Semen Is Good For You, According To Science

Sometimes your boyfriend isn’t lying to get you into bed, or at least, he’s telling you the truth without actually knowing it. If you’re looking to live a longer, healthier lifestyle, swallowing while going down on your dude is apparently the way to go, according to science.

I know, you’re gagging, I get it, but science is science! And dying sounds awful.

Pretty Little Liars
A new study published in Nature Medicine explained that a chemical found in semen called “spermidine” made mice live longer and increased their overall heart health. The mice who took the spermidine reportedly “had lower blood pressure, lower rates of cardiac hypertrophy and reduced risk of diastolic heart failure.” Previous studies have shown similar effects in yeast and fruit flies, but obviously testing mice is the real deal.

For anyone who is still gagging without control, no fear! You can still lengthen your lifespan without selling your soul or swallowing your boyfriend’s semen. According to one of the study’s authors, Dr. Simon Sedej, the chemical is also able to be found in mushrooms, whole grains and cheese, plus there’s supplements available for those really willing to commit to this whole “immortality” thing.

For those who aren’t afraid to get dirty (like, literally), be prepared to give a sh*t ton of blow jobs; you need to consume at least a gallon of semen in order to experience the health benefits spermidine has to offer.

So either you can go to the gym, eat well and live a generally healthy lifestyle to expand your time on Earth, or go south and start swallowing. We’ll let you pick your poison.

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