High school was a battlefield filled with girl drama. There were lots of arguments, too many tears and plenty of fights between girls, even those who were supposed to be friends.
In college and beyond, that same battlefield becomes filled with boys and the ups and downs of relationships. This tough time is when we need to have girls playing on our side of the field, specifically girls who have our backs. Having too many issues with different relationships at once can be overwhelming. Close friendships can aid us in feeling less afraid to be alone and more supported when things aren’t going right in other important aspects of our lives, including the struggles with boys.
In adulthood, it’s time to put the pettiness behind us and hone in on our inner girl power.
Here is a guide to avoiding girl drama and making true friendships that last.
1. Mind your own business and don’t get involved.
If a friend of yours is going through some drama of their own, let them come to you and vent if they want to talk about it. Just let them talk, be open and offer some advice to fix the solution without getting too involved. Once you start getting too involved, your friends’ drama becomes your drama. Stay out of it.
2. Try to steer clear of boyfriends or exes.
How many relationships do most of us go through in a matter of only a few years? Is it really worth losing a friend? Probably not. If genuine feelings somehow develop, you should go straight to your friend and talk to them about it and then respect what they have to say. Honesty is the best policy. Fooling around or going after someone your friend was with is one of the quickest ways to ruin that friendship forever.
3. Don’t talk about them behind their back.
Sounds simple, right? Not so much. This was one of the biggest reasons girls could barely get along in high school and it’s time to learn from that mistake. We’re not little kids anymore, so any problems should be addressed face to face. We all know that 99% of the time anything you say will come back to your friend from someone else’s mouth. Then you end up mad at the friend you told, your other friend is mad at you, you lose trust, create tension and start DRAMA.
4. Remember the only person you can really trust is yourself.
If you’re just bursting from the insides because you HAVE to tell someone a little secret about yourself, try keeping the people you tell to a minimum. If you could barely keep your own secret to yourself, what is going to stop them from doing the same? If you must spill the beans, spill it to just one person so at least you know who the culprit is if your gossip comes out.
5. Realize who your real friends are and who your party friends are.
If you can’t count your number of best friends one hand, you might want to re-evaluate the way you think. Most people go through life with one best friend. Don’t think that you can depend on every girl you hang out with. Just because you go out for drinks all the time doesn’t mean that she’s going to be there bringing you tubs of ice cream and making you laugh when you and your boyfriend break up. True friends reveal themselves over time by proving their loyalty to you. No, loyalty does NOT mean the fact that she’s never late for drinks every Friday.
6. Do things for your friends that you would expect them to do for you.
If they are going through a hard time, be there for them, check on them, take them out and try to get them smiling. If they tell you something is important to them, remember it and ask them how it’s going or how it went. Support them when you can tell they need someone to back them up. Listen to what they have to say and take their feelings and things they want into consideration. A good friendship works like a relationship. It’s not a one-way street.
7. Try not to let a romantic relationship overpower a good friendship.
We all know a few of those girls that are the “friends” who only come around when their relationship is over or on a short break. It’s extremely insulting to the friendship you believed you had. Don’t be the person who falls off the face of the planet every time you get a new boo.
8. Be honest.
This doesn’t mean agreeing with everything a friend says. If you disagree, say something. If you think that her outfit is hideous when she asks you how she looks, tell her. The friends that lie and tell us what we want to hear might be comforting, but it’s the ones who are brutally honest that you know you can trust and change us (or our outfits) for the better.
9. Practice apologizing and forgiving each other when things don’t go right.
It happens. We all make mistakes from time to time. Maybe your friend forgot to show up to your family party even though you reminded her about it for months. You caught her calling you annoying to Becky from around the block, but either way, it’s time to move on. If things get blown out of proportion and you know you’re in the wrong, be the bigger person and apologize.
10. Remind them from time to time that they mean something to you.
Imagine being in a relationship with a boyfriend who never expressed his feelings for you. It would suck. The same thing goes for friendships. Make sure to thank your friends for the things they do for you and remind them that they are important in your life. Everyone likes to feel appreciated and nobody is more appreciated than your best friends.