Rachel Lindsay Spoiled Her Own ‘Bachelorette’ Season & I’m Done

We all know how the last episode of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette goes. The lucky man or woman either proposes to or waits to be proposed to (gender norms amirite) by their “true love,” and, after a producer-elongated eight seconds of hesitation — and a commercial break — the couple falls into each others’ arms, eyes glassy with the realization that they now have to pretend to be in love for at least a year to keep the ring.

A proposal is almost inevitable, even when it’s between two people who seem as incompatible as Vanessa and *swallows back bile* Nick Viall.

Still, you’re not supposed to admit that, Rachel!! Rules be damned, Lindsay reported that she is “very much engaged” to The Hollywood Reporter, before the season has even graced our television screens. Moreover, despite the highly questionable list of candidates, she promises that “if [she] had a list he would check everything off.”

Lindsay is the first African American contestant to be cast as the Bachelorette, and as an intelligent, lovable attorney, we only want the best for her — so he had better be a good guy.

“It’s hard when you’re so excited about something and you can’t share it with everyone,” she said. “But we make sure to communicate with each other all the time, and that’s all you can really do.”

Is it Adam the threesome aficionado? Is it Milton who just wants to be discovered? Is it Alex with the ant farm who inexplicably doesn’t like music? Please not Bryce the transphobic creep (who will undoubtedly be this season’s Chad.)

Don’t tell me your guesses; I enjoy being willfully misled every year. Instead, join our official College Candy ‘Bachelorette’ bracket league here.

Get your brackets ready because it’s confirmed: Rachel Lindsay is engaged.


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