Paramore singer Hayley Williams spoke candidly about her time out of the spotlight and struggling with depression in an illuminating new interview.
“For the first time in my life, there wasn’t a pinhole of light at the end of the tunnel,” she explained to The Fader of the dark time in her life, “I thought, ‘I just wish everything would stop.’ It wasn’t in the sense of, I’m going to take my life. It was just hopelessness. Like, what’s the point? I don’t think I understood how dangerous hopelessness is. Everything hurts.”
Her depression worsened a few years back, culminating in a time where she would stay in bed all day rewatching The Office and fixating on death.
Fortunately, Williams found a therapist who helped her to work through her preoccupation, and she even privately quit the band for a period of time in summer 2015.
“I was just done,” she said of the decision, “I thought, ‘There’s gotta be something else that I’m good at in my life. Maybe it’s time for me to go find that.'”
In the end, though, music actually brought her solace in the form of her songwriting partner, Taylor York, who started sending her tracks and sparking her creativity and passion again.
“We both had doubts and we had unity in that,” Taylor, who has also has a history of depression, said, “But I just kept writing and then there was this time that she got it again.”
The two began collaborating on the band’s latest record, After Laughter, which delves into the topics of depression, mental health, and depression, Billboard reports. The album has resonated with fans who have struggled with similar mental health issues and those who have not: it’s a gorgeous, raw album.
Williams is in a much better, stronger place now and her fans could not be prouder of her.
If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255.