Chrissy Teigen is much more than just a model. Not only is she a hilarious TV host, but she’s also a successful author with the most epic arsenal of comebacks in the history of Twitter. She’s full of jokes, finding humor in anything, even her own shortcomings.
In light of her emphasis on humor and positivity, it was a little surprising to find out that she suffered from postpartum depression after giving birth to her daughter Luna. Teigen confessed her stuggles with the mental illness in an emotional personal essay written to go along with her cover of Glamour.
In the open letter, the beautiful model opens up about her troubles with finding her footing after giving birth. She admits that she soon realized she was suffering from depression while working on Lip Sync Battle and not acting like her usual self.
“Getting out of bed to get to set on time was painful,” she writes. “My lower back throbbed; my shoulders—even my wrists—hurt. I didn’t have an appetite. I would go two days without a bite of food, and you know how big of a deal food is for me.”
“When I wasn’t in the studio, I never left the house. I mean, never. Not even a tiptoe outside. I’d ask people who came inside why they were wet. Was it raining? How would I know—I had every shade closed. Most days were spent on the exact same spot on the couch and rarely would I muster up the energy to make it upstairs for bed. John would sleep on the couch with me, sometimes four nights in a row. I started keeping robes and comfy clothes in the pantry so I wouldn’t have to go upstairs when John went to work. There was a lot of spontaneous crying.”
Teigen also said that her husband John Legend was a huge support after her diagnosis.
“He’s exactly as compassionate, patient, loving, and understanding as he seems. John has been incredible over the last nine months, bringing me my medicine and watching horrible reality TV with me. He is not the goofiest guy, but he has gone out of his way to indulge my sense of humor. When I was having a good day, he would go to Medieval Times with me and put on the crazy period hat! He sees how much my eyes light up when he does that stuff, and he knows that’s what I need. I know he must look over at times and think: My God, get it together. But he has never made me feel that way. He wants me to be happy, silly, and energetic again, but he’s not making me feel bad when I’m not in that place.”
Teigen wrote that she’s speaking up so candidly because she wants people to know that postpartum depression can happen to anyone and that ultimately she hasn’t let it get the best of her.
“I love John and Luna more than I can imagine loving anything, and John and I still hope to give Luna a few siblings,” she says. “Postpartum hasn’t changed that.”