Troian Bellisario Is Opening Up About The Mental Health Battle That Nearly ‘Killed’ Her

Everyone knows and loves the witty and too-smart-to-handle Spencer Hastings on Pretty Little Liars. Our love for Troian Bellisario, who plays Spencer, is even greater.

In a new essay published on Lenny Letter, the star opened up about her internal battle with anorexia and how it’s affected her career.

The 31-year-old said that the root of her battle with anorexia was her brain.

“There is a part of my brain that defies logic,” Bellisario wrote. “Once, it completely convinced me I should live off 300 calories a day, and at some point, it told me that was too much.”

“That part of my brain is my disease, and there was a time when it had absolute authority over me,” she continued. “It almost killed me, and you can see that even though I have lived in recovery for ten years now, it still finds loads of fun, insidious ways to thwart me to this day.”

Troian admits that one of her biggest hangups was refusing to believe and admit that she needed to take care of herself. She began by referencing difficult times during the filming of PLL where she felt vulnerable and feared being constantly judged if she stopped shooting to recover, something she saw none of the other girls doing.

Troian Bellisario with Patrick J. Adams

Astrid Stawiarz/Getty Images

However, she has since found a way to suppress her disease by distracting her mind with things she loves to do.

“The voice of my disease is with me every day,” Bellisario said. “I am practiced at ignoring it, for the most part, but it’s still there, finding new ways to undermine me.”

“Writing, producing, and acting in [her new film Feed] helped me to get one more degree of separation from my disease in what I know will be a lifetime of work in recovery.”

Not only is she brave for admitting her own struggles, but she’s also helping erase the stigma and provide others with useful resources. We’re so proud.

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