Please Do Not Get Sex Advice From Reddit

Look, there is no reason to ever judge anyone else’s sex life. You do you. There’s no judgement here. Well, that is what I thought until I saw some of the sex advice on Reddit, much of which is just flat-out wrong. Some of it will make you die laughing and some of it will make you want to go crawl up in a ball and never want to see a man again. Without further ado let’s get into the weirdest sex advice that has ever been gathered from Reddit.

Without further ado, let’s get into the weirdest sex advice from Reddit.

1. Sex ends when the guy finishes.

I mean… The poor girl who had sex with this guy. If sex probation were a thing, this guy would be the ideal candidate. The saddest part is that this guy is married, which means that even after his sexual behavior, he still got girls. Sigh.

2. You can test whether a girl has an STI by fingering her with earwax on your finger.

“If it hurts, then she does.” Well, considering there is no scientific backing this, I don’t really want to talk about it anymore. But at the same time,, I just have so many questions about the logistics of this whole thing. Actually, it’s fine, I’d prefer to go on in life without knowing.

3. If you sleep with more than five guys, you will wake up one morning when you are 35 and hate yourself.

This was one girl’s advice from her mom and it is also 100% not true. I am not here for the slut shaming vibe of this advice. Plus, if this woman did any research she would know that millennials have an average of 10 sexual partners. Regardless, it is cool if you have one sexual partner and it is cool if you have 27 sexual partners (as long as you are being safe). Girl power!

4. Bite the clit.

Nope, not a good plan. You probably shouldn’t bite anything on the human body without being asked. It’s called manners.

5. Never make the first, second, or third move. Guys will think you are desperate.

Again, no. From years of anecdotal information and just common sense, if a guy is into you, he will like that you made the first move. Hello, it’s not 1907 anymore, women can do and say what they want to whomever they please. If anything, we should all make a pledge to stop waiting around for that cute boy to talk to us and we should just go talk to him.

6. Pee inside a girl once you finish, but before you pull out. The ammonia in your urine will neutralize the sperm so you don’t have to use a condom.

Well, two things. First, consult the fourth thing on this list. It’s probably just a good rule of thumb to not pee onto or into anyone who didn’t ask. Second, since there is actually no scientific backing of this theory, it kinda just makes it gross. Urinating into the vagina can actually just cause a really bad infection (I mean, no duh) and there is no indication that the chemicals in urine are any sort of spermicide. Stick to good, old fashioned condoms and birth control, kids!

7. Pop Rocks intensify oral sex.

What? Why? How???

Talk about a yeast infection and actual pain for both parties involved. Try some flavored lubricant instead.

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