A YouTuber Became The Mayor Of Hell, Illegalized Heterosexuality & Was Impeached In A 24-Hour Period

You know when you put your mind to something and you just really decide you’re going to do it? “I’m going to lose 10 pounds,” you say as you head to the gym. “I’m going to learn a new language,” you tell yourself as you download Rosetta Stone. Either way, you usually don’t do it, but it’s the thought that counts.

Well, one day popular YouTuber Elijah Daniel got high (you will feel the same way after reading this story) and decided he wanted to do his duty as an American citizen and run for office. His run was very speedy and within two days he was named the mayor of Hell, Michigan.

Yes, Hell. Population: 72.

He even got a fancy certificate proclaiming his new title.

As of today, August 30th, 2017 I am the legal mayor of Hell, Michigan. This is real. I am the mayor of Hell. pic.twitter.com/J7fuaLnFKV

— elijah daniel (@elijahdaniel) August 30, 2017

Immediately, Elijah got to work. He wanted to be a man of action, making his sure to do exactly what he said he would.

It was time, Elijah decided, to ban heterosexuals. Strangely enough, this isn’t that ludicrous because it’s 2017 and our country’s president is doing similar things. Seriously.

As acting mayor of Hell, Michigan I hearby ban all heterosexuals from entering our town. pic.twitter.com/uDuGWFATmS

— elijah daniel (@elijahdaniel) August 30, 2017

Elijah wanted to make it clear that “safety” was his top priority. No heterosexuals would be allowed to enter.

I love straights, but my #1 priority is the safety of my town. Until the heterosexual threat has been reviewed we cannot allow them to enter

— elijah daniel (@elijahdaniel) August 30, 2017

He knew he was making history, but hoped to be an inspiration.

yes I am the first u.s mayor to ban heterosexuality but i hope my act of bravery will inspire fellow politicians to ban straights as well

— elijah daniel (@elijahdaniel) August 30, 2017

2017 is wild.

i got sworn in as mayor wearing a purpose tour hoodie and fuckboy shorts welcome to 2017 bitch

— elijah daniel (@elijahdaniel) August 30, 2017

As is tradition, Elijah’s BFF, a well-known YouTuber named Christine Sydelko, became First Lady.

https://twitter.com/csydelko/status/902986069456683008

Elijah even came up with his own catchy slogan. MHGA! Make Hell gay again.

Make Hell Gay Again

— elijah daniel (@elijahdaniel) August 30, 2017

That said, Hell was not ready for him. Elijah was impeached. Luckily, he decided this wouldn’t throw off his plans to lead our country in 2020.

Although I enjoyed my time as mayor, I've been informed that I've been impeached as mayor of Hell. This will not effect my presidential run.

— elijah daniel (@elijahdaniel) August 30, 2017

In the name of good sportsmanship, Elijah extended some friendly advice to Donald Trump.

Being impeached was fun @realDonaldTrump, you should try it.

— elijah daniel (@elijahdaniel) August 30, 2017

So many people sang his praises.

Honestly, @elijahdaniel becoming mayor of a town named Hell and getting impeached for banning straights is the best thing to happen in 2017.

— Alex Goldschmidt (@alexandergold) August 30, 2017

Except the mainstream media! *Thunder rumbles, lightning strikes, a wolf howls in the distance.* Fake news had come a callin’ and he needed to set the record straight (pun intended).

“Yes, I am terrified of straight people,” he said.

it seems i am being labeled a heterophobe by the MAINSTREAM MEDIA & i would just like to confirm that yes i am terrified of straight people

— elijah daniel (@elijahdaniel) August 30, 2017

He wasn’t without reason, though. Phew. Elijah tweeted that heterosexuality was permissible, but truly, this was for the sake of the children.

i don't care if ur straight i just don't want u doing it in front of my kids

— elijah daniel (@elijahdaniel) August 31, 2017

We’re interested to see how Elijah’s White House bid will pan out. It just might be successful. Who knows? Stranger, scarier things have happened.

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