7 Signs That Your Partner Is Emotionally Unavailable

Cuffing season is officially upon us. Most of us will spend the next several months on the lookout for a new cuddle buddy, but before you take the time to revamp your Tinder profile and get back on the market, you also need to be on the lookout for potential “baes” who actually have zero interest in pursuing a relationship with you and are getting ready to waste your time.

This particular breed of not-sh*t men and women would rather drag you through months of hell and confusion, discarding you right before hoe season summer begins, leaving you wondering how you fell for their games and if you’re clinically insane.

If this is you, don’t worry, there is still time to get out before they destroy your self-esteem. Watch out for these seven warning signs so that you can have your best cuffing season yet.

1. They are inconsistent.

Do they text you “I miss you” and then ghost you for four days? Are they especially affectionate, showering you with kisses one day only to ignore your texts a mere 24 hours later? And a week later, do they suddenly reappear in your life, greeting you with pet names as if nothing happened and they didn’t just momentarily vanish from the face of the earth?

You’re not insane, they are just using you as an emotional punching bag, and because you always give them the option of being available, they always come back.

2. They avoid the “what are we?” question.

If they don’t give you a straight answer when you try to ask them if your feelings are being reciprocated then no, they don’t see a future with you and you’re not going to change their mind. Emotionally unavailable partners rarely pursue long-term relationships because they are commitment-phobes, and if they have a dating pattern that consists solely of short-term flings and one night stands, then you’re probably not going to be the woman that will finally get through to them and change them for the better. Their emotional baggage is not your problem to deal with, and it will only stress you out in the long-run.

3. They get distant when you want to discuss emotionally sensitive topics.

Heterosexual men who live in patriarchal societies are especially conditioned to ignore all things related to emotions, and as a result, many of them foster a low IQ in relation to their emotional intelligence. Being able to discuss uncomfortable, emotionally sensitive topics with your partner is a crucial component of a healthy relationship. If they are not up for it then they are not as invested in the relationship as you are.

4. They NEVER apologize for anything.

Whenever you try to confront them about something they’ve done that upsets you, by the end of the argument you’re giving them a foot rub and apologizing for stressing them out.


If this is you: ABORT NOW. They will only continue to belittle you when you confront them about things they’ve done that you are not ok with, and they will almost always leave you feeling like YOU’RE the problem and that they can do no wrong.

5. They want to see you… kind of… sometimes?

They might seem eager to see you only to flake on you hours before your date. And if they mostly respond with “maybe” to your proposals to hang out,┬áthen you’re not a priority in their life.

6. They don’t talk about future plans with you.

Ok, so this is a dead giveaway. If they don’t discuss or at least hint about making plans in the future with you, they just see you as a short-term conquest and are not ready to pursue a serious relationship.

7. They are seeing other people.

Do their Tinder, Bumble, SoulSwipe and/or Grindr notifications pop up on their phone when you’re together? Then you’re not the only woman and you most likely will never be. Leave now.


If any of the above signs are rampant in your relationship, please stay far, far away from this person. Leave before you become too emotionally invested and redirect your energy and efforts into pursuing a relationship with someone who actually sees your worth.

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