Broke college student? Join the club. As time goes on and the price of going to college increases beyond budgets or savings accounts, some students are looking for different ways to make money and one of the biggest earners is taking on life as a sugar baby.
Having a sugar daddy may seem like a controversial practice, but a record number of college women are actually jumping on the bandwagon. NYU is home to a reported 1282 sugar babies as of 2016 and that’s just one college campus out of the thousands in the country. Despite some of the horror stories often associated with sugar daddies, they can actually be a reliable source of supplementary income.
No, you don’t necessarily have to go on dates with strange, creepy men your grandfather’s age who insist they just want to have a “good time” in exchange for pure “companionship.” You can finesse a sugar daddy without having to resort to escorting. You just have to go about having one the right and safe way. Here are six ways to stay safe while successfully finding a sugar daddy in college.
1. Make sure their profile is legitimate.
If you are using a sugar daddy-based website such as Seeking Arrangement or Secret Benefits, you will receive a ton of messages from pursuers, some of whom won’t appear to have completely set up their profiles, upon first joining. This is a major red flag. They might only have one or two fuzzy photos taken in dim lighting or pics that were obviously not taken within the last decade, or they might not have filled out parts of their profile like their annual income or net worth. Try to look for men who have been longtime members of the website with several photos and who have taken the time to write a description of themselves and what they are looking for.
2. Be on the lookout for vague words on their profiles.
There are many men online who specify “intimacy” as a requirement to the arrangement or who might solely want “companionship.” If that is the case, you need to take the time to discuss with them what they are actually looking for prior to meeting with them. While there are many men who seek purely platonic arrangements in exchange for monetary compensation, there are just as many men who are looking for romantic and sexual relationships. And if they list fetishes (wanting a woman who is bisexual or who is ok with being dominant, for example) or if they make bizarre propositions to you like offering you money to hang out at their house wearing only a bikini (???) and feel the need to continuously emphasize that they are looking for “nothing more” then they are probably not just looking for “companionship.”
3. Initiate a phone conversation prior to meeting in person.
Ideally, you want a sugar daddy who you can easily initiate conversation with. Talking on the phone before meeting in person is a great way to test the waters and to see if the two of you will mesh well. If you have to strain for topics to discuss or if you feel awkward and strange vibes from them on the phone, then the vibe is probably going to be even more awkward in person and you should keep looking.
4. Meet in a public place.
This might seem like a no-brainer to some of us, but there are many women who do not prioritize their safety when first meeting a pursuer. You need to meet with them in a PUBLIC setting, preferably during the day. You need to tell your friends exactly where you are and you need to monitor your drink AT ALL TIMES, especially if they are buying you one. Ideally, it is safer to just not accept drinks in the first place, but if you absolutely have to, watch the bartender make the drink, do not take any bathroom breaks and keep your eye on it the entire time.
5. Specify what exactly you are looking for.
Are you looking for lavish dinners at high-end restaurants? A monthly allowance in exchange for companionship? Do you just need your phone bill paid? You need to specify exactly what you are looking for. There are some sugar daddies who are not comfortable with literally paying you in cash and who would rather just shower you with gifts. Specify the terms and conditions of the deal so that you both are on the same page about what you’ll be getting out of the arrangement.
6. Do not become entirely dependent.
The most successful arrangements involve a supplementary income, or as most sugar daddies will call it, an allowance. When you become entirely financially dependent on them, however, you risk altering the power dynamics too much. You don’t want to put yourself in a position where you rely too heavily on your sugar daddy for income and risk being easily manipulated. The arrangement should be fun and carefree (i.e. dinners several times a month, payment for accompanying them to the dinners, etc.). While you might be enticed by your sugar daddy’s offer to pay your rent, it is safer to remain in control of major expenses like your housing situation. That way, if things ever go left with them, you don’t have to worry about having to find a new place to live last-minute.
The most crucial key to successfully having a sugar daddy is to remain in control of the arrangement. Never put yourself in a vulnerable position where you are uncomfortable or feel like you’re being forced to do something that you’re not ok with. Everything should be on YOUR terms, and if you feel unsafe in any way, then scrap the arrangement. It’s all up to you, so enjoy the wealth.