This College Student’s Tweets About Her Crazy Roommate Will Make Your Roommate Seem Sane

Having a crazy college roommate is inevitable and a right of passage. If you never had an unbearable roommate in college, well you didn’t get the full experience. Sharing insane roommate stories is fun because everyone is trying to outdo each other. But Twitter user BreanneDodge has won the craziest roommate award.

Breanne is a freshman at Illinois State University and started a thread about her obnoxious freshman roommate and it does not disappoint. Spoiler alert, they are no longer roommates and couldn’t make it a full year living together.

A THREAD OF MY BATSHIT CRAZY ROOMMATE

— Breanne Dodge (@BreanneDodge) October 23, 2017

The two met before move-in day, which is standard for college roomies. She knew instantly that her roommate would be, to put it lightly, a handful.

So, we met at the mall & I say hi and w/o saying hi, she yells OMG I HAVE TO TELL YOU ABOUT A BOY! I NEED A STARBUCKS! That is when I knew..

— Breanne Dodge (@BreanneDodge) October 23, 2017

It’s freshmen roommate protocol that you guys go out together all the time in the beginning of the year because you don’t know anyone else yet! But, Breanne’s roomie is more of an entertainer than a partier.

The 1st day I tried to be nice & take her to a party. She does handstands, then.. THE SPLITS out of nowhere. She is no longer allowed there.

— Breanne Dodge (@BreanneDodge) October 23, 2017

Needless to say, the party invites stopped.

Two days later, I'm going out again & she tries to follow, but I do everything I can to ditch her…

— Breanne Dodge (@BreanneDodge) October 23, 2017

But crazy roommate is relentless. She will do anything to be invited, even drugs.

I even tell her that if she goes, they will make her do cocaine. & she says THATISOKIGUESSICANTRYSOMETHINGNEW. (She has never drank before).

— Breanne Dodge (@BreanneDodge) October 23, 2017

Party or not the craziness continued.

One night, she went out to the gym w/a boy & came back with a different boy & MADE OUT W/HIM IN THE COMMON AREA from 10-3am on the COUCH!

— Breanne Dodge (@BreanneDodge) October 23, 2017

PDA is a no-go for me, sorry.

AND EVERYONE SAW! I talked to her the next day & told her people were uncomfortable & she said IDC I'M PROUD OF WHAT I DID ☺️OH. THIS BITCH.

— Breanne Dodge (@BreanneDodge) October 23, 2017

Hooking up didn’t make her saner. It may have even made her crazier.

So Im sitting on my bed & I see her talking & laughing into the mirror while doing make up. Like she is making a Damn tutorial. WithNOcamera

— Breanne Dodge (@BreanneDodge) October 23, 2017

To be fair I have pretended to be hosting a makeup tutorial while doing my makeup, but I would NEVER do that in front of another person.

Now crazy roommate has a boo and has lost all respect for everything, even Breanne’s fish.

Her & couch boy are now a thing. Every time I go in my room they're getting frisky. One time they ruthlessly kicked over my INNOCENT fish.

— Breanne Dodge (@BreanneDodge) October 23, 2017

Couch boy is trying to break things off, but crazy girls don’t give up easily.

Couchboy said he didn't want to talk anymore but his birthday is coming up. So she HAS to do something. So texts his roommate to make a plan

— Breanne Dodge (@BreanneDodge) October 23, 2017

She decides to blow up 25 balloons and write him a love letter. She plans to sneak into his room and drop it off.He is creeped the fuck out

— Breanne Dodge (@BreanneDodge) October 23, 2017

Moving on to other craziness that isn’t about boys.

Im laying in bed and she is changing her pad in the room and THROWS her USED pad on the floor. I yell at her not to do that EVER again

— Breanne Dodge (@BreanneDodge) October 23, 2017

This should be illegal.

In the morning Im a FOOT away from her and sheFUCKINGdoes it AGAIN.I flip shit and she says she doesn't get what's wrong with it, AT ALL.

— Breanne Dodge (@BreanneDodge) October 23, 2017

Me and bf are in the room minding are own business and this girl decides to take her shirt AND bra off in front of my boyfriend nips and all

— Breanne Dodge (@BreanneDodge) October 23, 2017

Again, this should be illegal.

So now to get back at couch boy she hooks with with more boys. I know this because I walked in on them.He didn't give a fuck at all.

— Breanne Dodge (@BreanneDodge) October 23, 2017

Good idea, but poorly executed. If couch boy doesn’t care then it has no impact.

The floor & I met w/couchboy to talk about thepsycho. He told us she's crazy &how she began planning their wedding on the 2nd day of talking

— Breanne Dodge (@BreanneDodge) October 23, 2017

The whole dorm floor is now involved. According to Breanne, we aren’t even at the BEST part.

AND NOW FOR THE BEST PART

— Breanne Dodge (@BreanneDodge) October 23, 2017

She texts me she texts me a boyis over.I needto go into the room so I knockloud andwait 30 seconds before walking,I hear nothing.& when I do

— Breanne Dodge (@BreanneDodge) October 23, 2017

She's naked on top of him and he's sucking her giant nipples like a calf drinking from its mother.He yells ate to get the fuck out. Iamshook

— Breanne Dodge (@BreanneDodge) October 23, 2017

If she knocked then you respond! That is the final straw for Breanne.

At thispoint I have enough.Must get rid of her. I go to theRA and Italk about her gettingthefuck out. I cankick her out ifshe agrees toleave

— Breanne Dodge (@BreanneDodge) October 23, 2017

She won't leave. So we both have to move out. she is moving out between the hours of 1-4. At 5 i come back to my room to pack and…

— Breanne Dodge (@BreanneDodge) October 23, 2017

this bitch has STOLEN MY FUCKING BUTTERFLY CHAIR. We had matching chairs and she broke hers (prolly from being frisky) and stole mine.

— Breanne Dodge (@BreanneDodge) October 23, 2017

Little does he know I wrote my name on back.I call her she won't answer, so I text her to give it back.and her mom responds saying I'm lying

— Breanne Dodge (@BreanneDodge) October 23, 2017

Rule of thumb, any college girl who gets her mom involved in her drama is definitely crazy. There is no science behind it, just a lot of first-hand experience. Breanne knew she wasn’t lying because her name is on the back of hers. So she proves her point.

So had to call the police, they had to do an investigation.They had to go To her room.She didn't want to give it back. but after 4HOURS….

— Breanne Dodge (@BreanneDodge) October 23, 2017

I GOT MY DAMN CHAIR BACK. So NOW I have to go testify against her to the school so they can punish her.

— Breanne Dodge (@BreanneDodge) October 23, 2017

I know this is a lot for a chair, but there is no rhyme or reason when fighting with a crazy roommate. Breanne gave an update and said her fish survived the trauma of being knocked over and is doing well.

Crazy roomies are truly the worst.

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