Let’s face it: rejection sucks. Even though this generation likes to brag about being “cold-hearted” and being #teamnofeelings, it’s okay to admit that you’ve been hurt or that you’re the one who’s hurt someone. There’s no easy way to go about rejecting someone, but here’s the bottom line: there’s a way to do it without being a tool. Here are some tried (sadly) and true methods of rejection that I wouldn’t recommend following (unless you’re looking to get clapped back at, hard):
1. Ghosting.
Giphy
If you’re new to the dreaded dating game, ghosting is when someone is seeing or just talking to someone and then that person disappears without any reason or warning. It’s atrocious. You mean I spent three months talking to you and then you leave me wondering what I did wrong? Honey, I’m not the one.
Now you might be wondering, as I often have: is it worth it to confront the person and ask why they ghosted you? I’m going to be honest, there’s no definitive yes or no answer. It depends on the kind of person you are: if you’re like me and you need closure, I’d say to at least try. If you think the person won’t respond or simply contacting this person will make you feel worse about the situation, I’d say don’t.
2. “I have a lot going on right now.”
Giphy
Just stop talking. The reality is that everyone has a lot going on, whether it’s in their personal or professional lives. As my mom always says, “If they really cared about you, they would make the time for you.” Of course, things like work, school and family come first, and we tend to get so wrapped up in the whirlwind of it all that it can be difficult to find time to even breathe. But just as it’s healthy to take a step back and have some “me-time,” it’s also healthy to have time to spend with your significant other, even if it’s just talking on the phone for a few minutes or sending memes back and forth. Let them know you’re making them a priority and value them.
3. “I thought this was casual.”
Giphy
Social media is arguably the best thing that has happened to us. All the lovey couples get to document every second of their lives together and all the single ladies get to post about how they’re independent and doing fine. Tagging your boo or pseudo-boo in funny memes on Instagram is a great flirting move and posting fleeting pics of you two on your story lets people know you’re living your best life, but doesn’t confirm anything.
It’s a win-win situation… until it’s not.
How many times have we heard of or have been the victims of asking someone to define the relationship via Instagram or Facebook or inviting them over to a family dinner, and they say, “I thought this was just casual”? Yeah, you’re gonna need that ice pack. You start wondering if this person ever had genuine feelings for you to begin with, if you’re the reason why they don’t see you two being official and why the hell couldn’t have they been honest from the get-go?
So you two cool things off and then a few days later, you see a pic of them with a new person, which certainly looks Instagram-official. Now you’re just mad, and rightfully so. Why does this person want to put you in more pain by flaunting their new boo in your face? Why is it necessary???
4. Ending it via text.
Giphy
Is there a more inconsiderate way to break up with someone? I honestly don’t think so. I get that millennials would rather not pick up the phone for any reason, but in the case of a breakup, a phone call or meeting in person would be better alternatives. There are both pros and cons to ending a relationship or a pseudo-relationship in person, but the biggest pro is that words don’t get misconstrued. How many times have you looked at a text, assumed you knew what the person was trying to say and then ended up getting into an argument over it? It can be super difficult to decipher tone or facial expression over text when you’re having a serious conversation. Meeting up in person or talking over the phone ensures both parties can hear the inflection in each other’s voices/see the emotions in their face and makes the conversation more open and honest.
5. Stashing.
Giphy
“Stashing” is a new dating term which is when the person you’re dating doesn’t introduce you to their family, friends, or anyone in their life. It also extends to social media, such as when the person follows you and tags you in memes, but doesn’t post anything about you on their page. It’s like you don’t exist. To them, honestly, the relationship isn’t serious and they probably don’t see it going anywhere, which is why they haven’t shown you off to the world. It’s ice-cold and it’s a miserable feeling when you’re the only one invested and on a completely different page. You’re better off forgetting about this person and going about your life, though it may take a while. Stashers gonna stash, they’re gonna keep being trash.
Don’t try any of these, I beg you. Be a good person, don’t be a jerk.
