5 Things Single People Just Don’t Want To Hear

Of the roughly 241 months I have been alive, I have spent about 13.5 of them in a committed relationship of some kind. That means I’ve been single for approximately 94% of my life thus far, and currently am. Does that make me an expert on being single? Maybe.

Romantic relationships can be incredibly rewarding when they are good. It’s super nice to know that someone always has your back and that you have a built-in texting buddy, date to formals/weddings and someone to watch Netflix with at all hours of the night.

With that said, some of the best phases of my life thus far have been times that I was not dating anyone and was not looking to date anyone. Being single can give you time to strengthen existing relationships with your family members and friends. It can also give you time to learn new things about yourself; without having to take the needs and wishes of another person into consideration, it is a lot easier to focus on your own goals and what it is that you truly want out of life.

Even though being single can be such a positive thing, some people treat it like the plague, hopping from one partner to the next simply to avoid being alone. I firmly believe that it is much better to be with nobody at all than with the wrong person, and I think a lot of single women out there would agree.

Here are some things that single people are absolutely tired of hearing because not having a significant other at this very second doesn’t mean I’m going to spend the rest of my life as a washed-up cat lady. (Although I do, from time to time, consider giving up men entirely and buying fluffy pets instead.)


“You’re not seeing anyone? Awww, don’t worry, we’ll find someone for you!”

lo bosworth eye roll

There’s this slightly deflated look that some people take on when I tell them when I am single. I can literally see the light leaving their eyes as their excitement is murdered off by my lack of romantic prospects. The thing is, though, being single isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Some people know that they never want to be tied down to one partner and that’s fine. Some people aren’t actively looking for anything because they’ve just gotten out of a relationship or want to prioritize other facets of life, such as their education, career, friends or family. Even if someone is actively looking for a partner and just hasn’t found the right person yet, you don’t need to give them that painful look of pity. It is perfectly normal to enjoy life without making a constant effort to find a romantic partner.


“Don’t you get lonely?”

Kim Kardashian

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News flash: single people can have active, fulfilling lives. A significant other isn’t the only person that you can reach out to if you want some social interaction. Most people have friends, family, neighbors, and coworkers that they love to spend time with and those connections are often enough. Pair all of those relationships with the other things that people have going on during college–schoolwork, jobs, internships, clubs, sports, you name it–and it suddenly becomes difficult to see how people even have time for a significant other in the first place.


“You need to get on [dating app]!” or “I don’t get why you use [dating app].”

There’s always that coupled-off friend who goes on a tangent about how they “don’t understand” the appeal of dating apps and how meeting people “organically” is “so much better.” Conversely, there’s always that friend who tries to push you into downloading a dating app that they insist is the “best thing ever” even if you’ve already expressed that you’re not feeling it.

Don’t be either of those people. They are both extremely annoying and it’s a little vain to think that your idea of what will make your friend happy is stronger than their idea of what will make themselves happy, don’t you think? Sometimes I embrace being single fully by not looking for anyone and other times I open up Bumble and chat with people. Even if nothing comes of it–and I don’t expect anything to–I might still make some new friends. At the very least, it’s entertaining to read through the terrible bios.


Literally any criticism about the amount of sex we’re having (or not having).

eww, emma stone, stinky

Different people have different habits when they aren’t in a relationship. Some people like to go out and casually hook up, whether it be through a one night stand or a consistent friend with benefits. Other people don’t feel comfortable sleeping with people outside of a committed relationship and therefore don’t have any sex when they are single. These approaches are different, but neither is wrong.

As long as everything is safe and consensual, single people can have as much sex as they want to–or as little sex as they want to if the casual scene isn’t something that interests them. Whether your single friends lean towards one extreme or fall somewhere in the middle, please don’t judge them. No good comes of that and it could damage your friendship down the line if they feel like they can’t confide in you.


“I’d invite you, but it’s only going to be couples.”

Alright Jan, thanks for the heads up. Did the government create some kind of law stating that single people and coupled people can’t interact? No? Okay, great. It’s one thing if the plans only involve a friend and their significant other because not everyone is comfortable with third wheeling. (Although I personally think the awkwardness surrounding that is overhyped–we’re all adults with moderate social skills, so I feel like we can find something to talk about if a third wheel situation arises every now and then.)

If there’s an entire group of people hanging out, though, it doesn’t make sense to exclude your single friend(s). Everyone is going to be talking and mingling and joking, so why are relationship statuses relevant? Are you going to be glued to your significant other all night? If so, why are you even going out at all?


To all my fellow single girls out there–live your best life and don’t let anyone tell you that your choices are incorrect, because you know what is best for you!

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