5 Laughable White Lies Your Dad Told You As A Kid

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As a child, your parents wanted you to stay little forever, no matter how much you drove them crazy sometimes. Your mom would baby you even as you got older, but hey, it was her job. Your dad, on the other hand, would do everything in his power to keep you protected and safe, It’s what dads do right?

We all know the classic little white lies like Santa Clause is real and the Tooth Fairy brings you money under your pillow, but what about the others that your dad told you specifically to keep you his little baby forever. We have five of the best white lies your dad told you when you were a kid that we are laughing at as adults now.


He Has Eyes & Ears Everywhere

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Remember when you went to a friend’s party for the first time in middle school and your dad said, “I have eyes and ears everywhere,” because he knew what was going to happen and it scared the crap out of you? Well, we all know he doesn’t have them everywhere, but he sure knew how to make you think he did. You all know Dad was just trying to make sure you were safe and careful, but it sure put a damper on what you thought you had planned to do.

Looking back at it, your dad just had your best interest in mind and you can thank him for that. Now that you’re on your own and don’t have your dad watching your every move, it can make you feel bittersweet and actually want to tell him more than you told him as a kid.


Boys Have Cooties

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The infamous “boys have cooties,” phrase probably haunted you throughout your childhood. Being daddy’s little girl he never wanted to see you get hurt by mean little boys. Everyone’s dad would say is that even when you were on the playground during recess you’d be chanting it with your girlfriends to keep those pesky boys away.

Now that you’re grown up, every girl has gone through at least one horrible heartbreak no matter if it was because of a boy or a girl. You can go to your dad for emotional support through the heartbreaks, but just know that even to this day he will want to hunt them down the second he hears anyone hurt his little girl.


You Can’t Date Until Your 35

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Going right along with the theme of boys having cooties, you have always been your daddy’s little girl and to you, he is the most important man in your life, well he wants to think so. Of course, your dad will always hold a very special place in your heart, but sometimes you want to let someone else in as your romantic partner. Well according to your dad, that’s not going to happen, like ever.

Growing up if you asked your dad if you could have your first relationship odds are he told you, “not in my house,” and then you’d get upset and it would turn into a fight, sound familiar? Your dad wanted to hold on to his little girl for as long as he could until you were ready for someone else to hold part of your heart as well.


“Ask Your Mother”

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“I don’t know ask your mother,” said every dad, ever. When you interrupted him while he was watching his favorite football team in the playoffs or was trying to enjoy a beer with his buddies odds are he would respond with this. It was the easiest way for him to avoid your question while still giving it room for discussion and in your mind, hope that the answer would be yes. However, this would usually turn into an argument that mom said no, then dad said yes, and back and forth until someone finally caved.

Now you’re on your own and that means you don’t have to ask daddy for a new Barbie toy or to play on another sports team, it’s up to you to make that decision. Of course, you’re probably still calling him asking for his advice or what he would do if he were you because it’s what you’re used to after all those years.


The Stork Brought You

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Whether it was the birds and the bees or the old tale that the stork brought you into the family, your dad never wanted to address the dreaded “talk” that every parent had to have. When you were really little it was easy for him to tell you these little white lies, but as you got older things started to not add up. And boy did you regret it once the real talk had to take place.

It’s not something anyone feels comfortable talking about for the first time to their children and it was by no means comfortable for you to have to think about your parents… doing it, but it’s something that had to be done. Just you get ready because once you have kids the countdown begins for that talk to happen with you.


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