Breakups suck. But the reality is everyone is likely going to experience them at one point or another and everyone deals with them differently. After your friend goes through a breakup it’s more about listening to them vent rather than giving them advice. While you may want to be honest and tell them that their partner sucked anyways, right after a breakup is not the right time and it won’t make them feel better! They need time to be sad and vent while you comfort them.
Here are some tips for what not to say when comforting a newly single friend! Let’s face it, what you don’t say after a breakup is just as important!
It’s ok, I never liked them.
This happens a lot but if you didn’t like your friend’s significant other, it’s not the time to tell them right after a breakup. Let’s face it, them breaking up isn’t about you or what you think! Let their feelings come first right now and as much as you didn’t like them, bite your tongue!
Don’t worry, there’s someone out there better for you!
While most likely accurate, this is not what you want to hear right after you break up with someone. Your heart is broken and you can’t even try to think about someone else. While it may sound comforting, it’s not good right after a breakup.
I knew they weren’t good for you.
Ok, this one is up there with, ‘I never liked him.’ It’s insensitive and similar to ‘I told you so / I knew you would break up.’ No one wants to hear that you knew they would fail and it’ll make your friend feel defensive about her relationship and her decision making. A lot of what goes on in a relationship is only known to the two people in it. Either way, refrain from saying this and keep the tough love opinions to yourself.
You can do so much better.
If they’re saying negative stuff about their ex you can agree but saying you can do so much better implies they’re settling which can make them upset. People get defensive when you question their taste!
This may be good a few weeks after the breakup when your friend hates them and isn’t feeling so sad anymore.
Just enjoy being single.
Enjoying being single is the last thing you want to think about after a breakup. Transitioning from a relationship to being single is tough and most of the time people only think about the negative aspects of being single! Your friend may get to a point where they enjoy being single but it’s not right after the breakup.
You’re better off now.
Someone who just went through a breakup isn’t going to think this because they’re probably miserable in the beginning. Telling them this will just make them sadder!