It’s easy to get swept up with the idea of a new partner. Whether this person is someone you’re chatting up on Tinder or someone you know in “real life” you can often become obsessed with the idea of your crush. Maybe you innocently imagine your future with them or you become totally infatuated with them and their total existence.
You waste some time becoming obsessed with them only to be disappointed when you finally go on a date with them. But they are simply a person–infatuation and daydreaming is not the healthiest practice because it sets up unrealistic expectations of your crush. We have some suggestions on why you overhype your crush and how to stop doing that.
Realize You Can Only See The Best Side On Social Media
It’s crazy how much of our infatuating of people is due into social media. People put out their best selves on social media so it is only expected that only their best qualities will be put on display. Pretty Instagrams and witty Tweets are calculated and thought out socialization. When you meet the person in real life you might be shocked that they are not completely like this on the spot–but no one is. When you realize this sooner, you won’t just expect the person to be the Most Perfect Person Ever.
The Less You Know About Someone You Are More Likely To Hype ‘Em Up
If all you know about someone is that they love Disney movies and work a corporate 9-5 job you only know the bare minimum. Because of this, you will be more likely to hype someone up by only focusing on the positives of their life and what you know. You set yourself up for some extremely exaggerated impressions.
That Texting Chemistry
It’s so rare with online dating to get a good conversation or banter going. When you do get that going you can overhype the person in turn. Remember that although you might have chemistry over text messaging you might not have chemistry in person–and that is the interaction that counts the most.
Newness To Long-Term Dating
With a lack of experience with long-term dating, you may set your expectations too high based off of other relationships you have seen broadcasted on social media. Rough relationships or connections won’t be broadcasted so much on social media like long-term relationships are. Realize that relationships are harder than just meeting someone and hitting it off right away.
Super High Expectations
You definitely should have expectations of a partner. High standards are important and you shouldn’t just settle for anything in a relationship. But separate the idea of the relationship from the date itself. Don’t think of the date as the beginning of a lifelong relationship but as a fun thing you’re going to do that might turn out well. Chances are your date is nervous too and sometimes personalities and be underwhelming in those situations. With fewer expectations of how things will go down, the less you’ll be disappointed.
So try to take crushes with a grain of salt and not take them too seriously. The daydreams won’t go away but just be mindful of them. Happy dating!