Is It Possible To Stay Close With An Ex’s Friends After A Breakup?

Most breakups don’t only affect two people, the majority of the time it can affect a whole friend group. Whether you and your ex-come from the same friend group, have mutual friends, or just enjoy hanging out with the same people, after a break-up its normal to question can you still remain close with your ex’s friends? Throughout a relationship, some of the best memories usually include things you’ve done not only with each other but with your friends as well.

Expert Jennifer B Rhodes say’s, “After a break-up, you should be spending time with people who support you, and don’t make you feel like you owe your ex anything.” So while you may want to keep hanging out with your ex’s friends, it’s possible it could do more harm to you than it’s worth.

How This Affects A Friend Group

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The issue with being friends with an ex’s friends, at least immediately post-breakup, is they may take the middle ground. And after splitting from your partner, you probably want someone who will agree with you and allow you to get all your feelings out. You need to vent, and you don’t want someone saying, ‘Well…'” You also want to avoid both you and your ex-getting territorial over your friends cause this could definitely lead to some drama.

Hanging out with mutual friends may make you think of your ex-more than necessary, which could, of course, slow down the getting-over-it part of the breakup. According to Fran Greene, author of Dating Again With Courage And Confidence, “Your cravings and obsessions with your ex will lessen if you are not surrounded by the memories of the ‘good times’ you had with your ex’s network of friends.”

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When it comes to the friend group, take who they are to you and how close you both are into account. You have to be willing to accept that your ex may remain closer with some friends who were “technically” their friends first. You may have to distance yourself from them for a little bit, at least while the breakup is still fresh. But time heals all wounds, and it’s likely that if you become friends with your ex again, or if there’s no bad blood, you may be let back into their circle as well.

Breakups are complicated and most of the time will affect more than just the two people in the relationship. The most important thing to remember is, you need to put your feelings and needs first. If you need a break from people who remind you of your ex that’s completely okay! Once the initial stages are over and you’re starting to move on then maybe some catching up can be done.

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