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This week, six Russian astronauts started a project to live in a mock-spacecraft for eight days to test out the physical and psychological effects of long-term spaceflight. The participants are all experts in biophysics, psychology, and medicine and trying out for a Russian Moon mission in 2029. All six astronauts just happen to be women. Awesome, right?
The women did a press conference before starting their mission, and it turned out to be the most challenging part of their week.
Sergei Ponomarev, the scientific director of the experiment, began by talking about how the crew members would get along. “It will be interesting to see how well they get on with each other, and how well they are able to perform tasks.” He continued that women might not doom us all, saying, “We believe women might not only be no worse than men at performing certain tasks in space, but actually better.” Oh, lovely…and it gets worse.
A member of the press thought it would be cute to ask the crew members how they would cope without men or makeup for the next week, and the response was epic. “We are very beautiful without makeup,” replied one of the participants, Darya Komissarova. Her coworker, Anna Kussmaul, added, “Those who will take part in an experiment are not concerned there won’t be any men in their crew. We are here to do our job and we don’t have time to think about men.”
Later, they were asked about their hair, as any astronaut is. “I don’t know how we’ll survive without shampoo,” Kussmaul said, sarcastically. “Because even in this situation, we really want to stay looking pretty.”
God speed, ladies. I hope and pray your lip color doesn’t interfere with your tasks at hands, and guarantee that even without makeup, you’ll get the most likes on Instagram.
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6TxG7k_4CZE&w=640&h=360]
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