This week has been a Hallie-and-Annie-discovering-they-have-a-twin-at-the-same-summer-camp level whirlwind, and most of us are still scrambling to keep up. Sean Spicer turned down Dancing With the Stars, disappointing an entire nation. #LocalMilkPeople trended on Twitter in response to Trump’s leaked phone transcripts. Anthony Scaramucci was fired after just ten days, making Kim Kardashian’s second marriage look like an admirable commitment. Martin Shkreli was found guilty of fraud charges. Stephen Miller denounced the Statue of Liberty herself. A grand jury was appointed to investigate Russia’s meddling in the 2016 election. Obama had a birthday. Jake Paul was declared over (again.) We fell in love with gum-chewing Dean on The Bachelorette (also again.)
Still with me?
Due to the high-key insanity of this week, Twitter was a predictably sparkling goldmine. Here are a handful of the week’s tweets that might (maybe) make you smile — or at the very least, grimace in attempt.
Happy Birthday @BarackObama! Hope you get some balloons. I love a good balloon. #HBD44
— Bill Clinton (@BillClinton) August 4, 2017
Local milk people pic.twitter.com/m0JtvzKsz3
— Erin this difficult time Ryan (@morninggloria) August 3, 2017
DATE: the waiter's coming
ME: shit idk what I'm getting
DATE: here he comes..
ANTHONY SCARAMUCCI: Hi welcome to Chili's!— Jill Gutowitz (@jillboard) August 2, 2017
good luck to martin shkreli charging 750 cigarettes per pill in prison
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) August 4, 2017
Me running to auditions if Dean is the next bachelor #MenTellAll pic.twitter.com/Axcos4ft2H
— Sarah Catherine (@domkasar) August 1, 2017
A moment of silence, please https://t.co/2S0YVpZOck
— Lauren Duca (@laurenduca) August 3, 2017
https://twitter.com/ChloeAngyal/status/892834874880647169?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw&ref_url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.huffingtonpost.com%2Fentry%2Fthe-20-funniest-tweets-from-women-this-week_us_597f2b0ce4b02a4ebb76d6ce
CNN: Grand Jury
MSNBC: Grand Jury
Fox News: Have you ever looked at a starfish? Like really looked at one? They're weird, man.— Maggie Serota (@maggieserota) August 3, 2017
Jake it was a simple question why you so mad pic.twitter.com/LNnqPK2KE0
— jacksfilms (@jacksfilms) August 3, 2017
Until next week.
