Since the 5th grade, when I began my dating career and had my first closed-mouth kiss, I have been developing some pretty serious opinions about guys and the things they should and shouldn’t do. From fashion choices to their decisions about personal hygiene, it seems that some members of the male sex are still confused and clueless when it comes to putting themselves together. Below are six common mistakes guys make when trying to bring on the sex appeal that only end up looking, well, really unappealing. Take note, guys.

Chewing/Spitting Tobacco:
In the timeless film “Clueless,” Cher explains that drawing attention to your mouth is the number one way to draw the attention of a member of the opposite sex. I would agree, for the most part, unless we’re talking about chewing tobacco. When I see a guy spit that horrific brown goo into an empty Poland Springs bottle, or pack that junk into his lower lip, I want to vomit. If you must give in to your oral fixation, chew some gum or suck on a lollipop. Turquoise Orbit is my favorite, if you’re interested.

Wife beaters and too-tight muscle T’s:
I totally understand that guys work hard in the gym, grunting and groaning and pumping iron until they are ready to pop a blood vessel, and that they are proud to show their goods off. But wearing regular clothing can be equally revealing. Wife beaters belong at the Jersey Shore, or in bed if you don’t feel like hitting the sheets shirtless. And too-tight muscle T’s are just a recipe for bad sweat stains. Steer clear of both. Read More »

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Unlike most women, I don’t watch Sex and the City. I don’t have HBO, and I just never got around to watching it. And unlike most men, my boyfriend looooves SATC. Seriously.

By all other accounts, he’s your average college male: he’s got ESPN.com as his homepage, he wears the same three t-shirts on a rotating basis, and drools over Jessica Biel. But when the movie came out this past spring, he begged me to come with him to watch it in theaters. I remember waiting on line outside the box office with hundreds of other women and a few other couples, when one of the men came up to my guy and nodded his head in my direction. “She dragged you, too, huh?” My boyfriend smiled proudly and said, “Nope! She’s never seen the show- I love Sex and the City!” The poor stranger gave me a sorry look that clearly said, honey, your man is hitting for the other team. I hadn’t really thought about it before then, but since the SATC incident, I’ve always kind of wondered…could my man be gay? Read More »

The Botox and face-injecting craze has gone too far in Hollywood, and possibly in your own dermatologist’s chair. It seems like a super idea when you’re under the bright light and the doc has you mesmerized about all the ways she can make you look “better.” Listen up ladies, everyone knows where those wrinkles once outlined your mouth, so stop trying to hide them.

Botox is the second most popular prescription drug, after Viagara, and women have become addicted to the procedure. Lisa Rinna, former Melrose Place star, told In Touch that after seeing pictures of herself she realized she has gone “too far” with her surgical procedures. Ya think? She looks like a mannequin who can’t smile or blink. Freak! We all know the other celebs who are rumored to have the procedure done frequently, like Cher, Sly Stallone, Courtney Cox, Joan Rivers, Nicole Kidman, and the list goes on and on and on.

Caution: There are dangers out there! Botox isn’t something that should be debated over mildly. Here a few facts to help you in your debate to be stuck with the needle or not.

• In a recent study, an active Botox toxin was injected into rats and after 72 hours the toxin was found in the rats’ brain. This is scary, especially since the toxin broke down proteins and caused damage in the brain!
• The same toxin injected in the rats, botulinum toxin, has been found in humans who receive Botox injections and it spread to other parts of the body which has resulted in paralysis of respiratory muscles and difficulty swallowing.
• Please know that the side effects have been reported as early as one day and as late as several weeks after treatment.
• There were 16 deaths prior to January 2008. Enough said.
• There are also minor side effects, like dizziness, rashes, bruising, tiredness, headache, stiffness, etc.
• Do not rush into any decisions. Have a consultation with the dermatologist and then go home and think about the procedure. Do your research!

As if we weren’t oversharing enough these days, the interwebs have taken it one step further.

Yes, ladies, in addition to showing everyone how well you can shotgun a beer, who you took to that last date party and what you are doing at every. possible. second., now you can tell everyone what you are wearing too!

Weardrobe.com, “your online fashion closet,” is a new site where you can show the world everything in your closet! Because we care! Because I sit at my computer wondering just what some random girl in California (with a much larger budget than me, I might add) is wearing to the beach on Sunday. Because I need to see a collection of photos of girls in giant sunglasses.

The main premise of the site is to “build” your online wardrobe, but I just don’t get it. You are not even building it with real things. It would be one thing to add photographs of the stuff you actually own, but this site just has you choose from random icons to throw in your fake closet. Like Louboutins and Prada slides.

Then, your friends are supposed to help you create an outfit. With icons! WTF? This is like the Sims meets Neiman Marcus. Read More »

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As if mentioning Cher’s bad fashion is even necessary. Because we all know Cher. We know that bad fashion is at least 75% of the reason why she is famous. So of course she wore the ugliest outfit that the goblins working in her closet could throw at her for last night’s Grammy Awards. But that’s to be expected. So what is everyone else’s excuse? Read More »