I know more about these women than I do about our forefathers.

Every Friday I head home from work, tear off my bra, put on my biggest pair of sweatpants, order in Pad Se Ew and settle in for a night of TV. Lame? Maybe. But get back to me after you’re working 60-hour weeks in the real world. Friday nights on the couch are sacred.

Last week, as I fired up the DVR to catch up on all the shows I’d missed from the week, I had a rather enlightening moment. Sorta like an Oprah “aha!” moment, only way more embarrassing. My entire DVR was taken up by reality shows. Top Chef, Project Runway, The Real Housewives, Ace of Cakes… Hell, I even had a little Real World/Road Rules Duel on there.

I looked around to make sure none of my neighbors could see my TV through the windows. I mean, I know I like me some crappy TV, but this was just mortifying. My entire life revolves around watching train wrecks on camera! But maybe it’s not that sad? I mean, everyone loves themselves a little trash now and then, right? Those shows are on for a reason. And some of them are actually really good! Maybe not anything on E!, but we can all learn a thing or two from The Biggest Loser, right?

Right?!?

To make myself feel better about my addiction (and my sad, lame life) I asked the CollegeCandy writers to share their reality TV faves this week. You know you got one, too. Share it in the comments! Read More »

It’s time for the Emmys!

While the stars strut their stuff down the red carpet in haute couture dresses, we’re resting comfortably in our bed wearing nothing but an old t-shirt and a pair of VS undies shoving Pad Thai in our face. Because nothing goes better with an award show than drowning our fashion-envy sorrows in a bowl of greasy noodles.

We’ve got two full hours of designer goodness (and – fingers crossed – total disaster) coming our way, so let’s get to the show!

Get your TV set to E! and enjoy a little Ryan Seacrest action with us.

Leave your thoughts in the comments so we can all discuss the highs and lows together.

If you have any immediate concerns you absolutely need me to address, feel free to IM me at “mel1236″ on AIM

5:44 PM: Settled on the couch with my bowl of cereal, pajamas and laptop. Just put on E! to the dismay of my male, lacrosse-playing roommate. Seacrest, I’m so ready for you.

6:01 PM: Yay! It’s starting! Glam Cam 360? Livefeed of Twitter? Ryan, you’ve outdone yourself, bedecked in Burberry fabulosity. Mr. Jay, what’s all up on your collar? Also, Kourtney? No. Want Khloe. Whoa she is preg.

6:05 PM: Heidi’s preggo too? Again? Am I watching the red carpet or a commercial for Maternity World?

6:10 PM: Aww, Neil Patrick Harris in the 360 cam. Heart you. I’m hoping for some Harold and Kumar antics on stage. Read More »

[There are some women out there that we just can’t get out of our minds. No, we aren’t switching teams - yet - but we do have some serious crushes on some pretty fierce females. These ladies are all special in their own right and we aren’t ashamed to tell the world we love them.]

I’m having a tough time admitting this, mostly because I think she stole my life, but I have a huge crush on Chelsea Handler. I was introduced to Ms. Handler a few years back when my friend shoved her first book, “My Horizontal Life” in my hands and screamed, “this was your idea!”

Yes, it’s true. I had always planned on compiling my one night stand stories into a book, but I needed a few more hump sessions to complete it and Chelsea beat me to it.

I wanted to so badly to hate what I read, but I couldn’t. The book was laugh out loud funny, and I’m pretty sure I bothered everyone else in Starbucks when I read the entire thing in one day. When I finally reached the end, I determined that Chelsea and I were soul mates.

Since then, Chelsea has written another NY Times Bestseller and got her very own show, Chelsea Lately, on E! Some people think she slept her way into that late night slot (her BF just happens to be in charge of the network), but I don’t care. If it took a little pork-sesh to bring this woman to TV, then so be it. If anything, it only proves that the woman is as good between the sheets as she is behind the round table.

Chelsea Handler is hilarious, beautiful, witty and has a killer sense of style. When I tune into her show nightly (I haven’t missed an episode in months), I am as entertained by what she says and does as I am by the gorgeous and drool-worthy stilettos on her feet. Stilettos that she uses to effectively stomp on the hopes, dreams and careers of Hollywood’s most ridiculous characters.

And even they find her funny. Read More »

Whenever we need to make a difficult decision, we make a list.

“Heels or flats?”
“Pizza or salad?”
“Prada backpack or Skechers?”

So when we are constantly faced with the awful decision of which fame whore is more fame whorey, we make a list. Yes, this is a decision we feel the need to make on a weekly basis. We have a lot of time on our hands.

Moving on.

This week’s showdown is between two celebs that continue to invade our lives, no matter how hard we try to avoid them: Perez Hilton and Ryan Seacrest. Which one would we like to ship off to a small island in the South Pacific first? Do we really have to choose?! Read More »

We’ve got our wine, we’ve got our cupcakes and we’re ready for the Oscars! Well, the pre-show, that is. The Red Carpet is everyone’s favorite part of awards season, and the Academy Awards red carpet is the cream of the crop. Sure, we’re geeked to see who wins the big awards, but we’re girls and we’re more excited to see who takes the biggest fashion risks.

We’ll be watching the pre-show on E!, so join us for our Oscar party. Dish on your favorites and not-so favorites in the comments section below. Read More »

The big night is finally here! On Sunday Brangelina and Jennifer Aniston will be reuniting for the first time since the big divorce the best actors and actresses in Hollywood will be showered with big gold statues and lots and lots of praise.

Yes, my friends, it’s time for the Oscars!

Who is going to win? Who is going to cry? How hot is Hugh Jackman gonna look? And who is going to wear something totally ridiculous?

Since we have nothing better to do on a Sunday night (and since there is really nothing better than talking sh*t about celebrities/staring at Hugh Jackman for 4 hours), CollegeCandy will be ordering in some Pad Thai and watching every last minute.

Care to join? We’ll be live blogging the Red Carpet Pre-Show on E! starting at 6pm EST. Grab your friends, some wine and your laptop and discuss all the highlights and lowlights of the big event with us!

See ya Sunday!

Last night was the season finale of The Hills. We were sad for a minute, until Lauren promised there would be more episodes (yay!). The party was huge, and we had a CollegeCandy girl on the inside. Well, sorta; she was outside on the red carpet on a freezing cold NY night. Here is how she spent her evening:

The scene: Central Park West, Tavern on the Green

The temperature: f#$%#$ freezing. The E! News lady (who took several takes to figure out what day it was) claimed it was -10 DEGREES! The accuweather forecast in my cab, however, claimed 20 degrees, wind chills of 5 degrees. Either way, it was cold as balls.

They had about 3 heat lamps set up for the press bleachers. And the MTV people were handing out hand warmers, but overall, people were seriously disgruntled. (Commonly heard: “Why the hell did they think it was a good idea to have this outside?”)

When I got there, it was pretty evenly divided into two camps:

1) Shrieky girls in mini dresses and stillettos freezing their asses off waiting in line to get in

2) Grizzly press guys in Timberlands and puffy fur lined parkas laughing at them. (I like to think I fell somewhere in between. Upon arrival, they eyed me warily in my black boots and white wool coat. But once I started making jokes about Heidi’s implants freezing and Spencer’s lame ass attempt at a beard, I think they gave me the benefit of the doubt and offered up their spare handwarmers). Read More »

While settling in for an evening of the shameless self promotion that is Denise Richards: It’s Complicated, I grew more and more excited for the return of Jeremy to Living Lohan (coincidentally, I got a double dose of the self promo). As I anticipated seeing his sunken, stubbly cheeks, I wondered if Ali and Dina would remain blinded by the reflection of Jeremy’s aviators, causing them to overlook (again) his shadiness. Finally, Ali calls Jeremy out on his attempts to ride her (very short) coattails.

When he arrives at the Palms, in all his hoodie rocking glory, Jeremy storms into the studio like he owns it (in his delusional post-coke bender world, he probably does.) He wastes no time in bragging to anyone who will listen (the people Dina pays to sit around the studio) about how sick of a producer he is. This is the first of many examples of unprofessional behavior that Jeremy chooses to demonstrate. Big surprise, Jeremy’s shamelessly plugging his shiz on Ali & Dina’s pay. Ali–realizing good ol’ Jer isn’t even in the studio with her, but in another room playing his Garage Band mixes for studio execs rolling their eyes at him– gets an inkling that Jeremy be more concerned with his career than hers. GASP! Read More »

In this episode, the Lohans FINALLY get to Vegas! They didn’t fly there in a private jet though, which I’m gonna admit was a bit of a let down (I expected some major control issues and perhaps Dina’s debut as a pilot), and there was no liquor fueled dramz. While the episode was age appropriately absent of hard booze, it was heavy on the whine.

For some reason, Ali chooses to adopt an even more nasally tone for this 25 minute tribute to ungratefulness. She complains in this obnoxious tantrum pending voice about all of the trials life has delivered to her. Like the fact that she, her awesome brother and (arguably) cool mom have to live in a tricked out penthouse at the Palms while she records her album. I guess it gets pretty taxing when you’re attending all of these exhausting “Welcome to Vegas!” parties (with delicious looking cake) thrown just for you by the f*#king Maloufs.

Ugh, sorry about that. Anyways, Dina introduces Ali (who is wearing a gorgeous but way too mature minidress) to a bunch of important 30 something guys that she wants Ali to “get comfortable with.” Dina baby, they’re mentally undressing your 14 year old — not very comfort inducing, I would say. The men all flirt with Ali while she fidgets, present her the aforementioned cake (note to self, go buy something with chocolate as soon as I’m done writing) and begin an episode long tradition of complimenting Ali and promising her she’s the next big thing. Read More »

As that song your mother listens to on the Oldies station says, “breaking up is hard to do (oo).” Especially these days when people have all sorts of options when it comes to communication. It sometimes seems that people sit down and contemplate the absolute worst way to dump someone…and then do it.

Below is my list of the top five ways to dump someone. If any of these have happened to you, I feel for you sister; I really do.

1. Instant Message. A friend of mine was recently dumped via AIM. By her boyfriend of six months. Six freaking months and he didn’t have the decency to do this in person. The last time I was broken up with on instant messenger was in 8th grade, and even then it was barely acceptable. Any self respecting male over the age of 15 should muster up enough cojones to do their dirty work in person. Douchebags.

2. Text (Rusty Cartwright style). This method is highly unrealistic, at least in my experience. For me there would be no confirmation; the jerk would just disappear off the face of the earth until I ran into him at 1 am in sweatpants at the library. Still, the guy who employs this tactic is a little bitch, in my own humble opinion. If you are ever or ever have been dumped in this manner (or the aforementioned AIM breakup) then you probably don’t need me to tell you that honey, you are waaaay better off without that prick. Read More »