Men Could Never Walk In Our Stilettos

man labor 2 copyMost of us have engaged in the verbal debate at some point. Most likely over a game of beer pong, when a guy makes that common assumption that boys are simply tougher than girls. We then launch into defense mode, listing off reasons why women are a hundred times tougher than men. It always ends in the same statement: “well men don’t have to go through labor!”

End of fight. (Hopefully you sink your next throw to send the point home).

An Australian TV anchor wanted to end this feud once and for all so he agreed to be put into simulated labor (with a machine that sends electric currents through the abdomen which feel like contraction pains). Needless to say, after only three hours he called it quits (mind you, most women are in labor for an average of 10-12 hours), concluding, “Women win. Men don’t.”

Finally, we are getting the credit we deserve. But honestly, we knew he never stood a chance. Of course men can’t handle labor! They can’t handle most of the things women put up with on a daily or monthly basis. Men could never handle being women, period. Read More »

Pay Women What We’re Worth, Dammit!

pay.qxdTomorrow is Equal Pay Day, a public awareness event to draw attention to the gender pay gap. Today, women make about 80 cents per every dollar a man makes.

It’s ridiculous – if we do the same work, we should get paid the same. Am I right!? [Crowd cheers.]

But I’m here to say that we not only deserve equal pay, but should actually be making more money than men. Here are 5 very real reasons why:

1. Women are biologically superior to men. We have a longer life expectancy, more grey matter in our brains (it’s useful stuff, trust me) and can have multiple orgasms. We aren’t as susceptible to many inherited diseases (like hemophilia and colorblindness) because we have two X chromosomes rather than just one.

2. We work twice as much. Most women and men work eight-hour days. But when women get home, they have to cook, clean, and take care of the kids. This extra work is known by feminists as the “second shift” and we deserve to be compensated for it.

3. Women are more qualified than man. Women get better grades and take more advanced placement classes in high school. Nearly sixty-percent of undergraduate college students are women, and women earn more bachelor and graduate degrees then men. Read More »

5 Guy Tendencies You’re Just Gonna Have To Deal With

Men love to argue that women want to ‘change’ them. Ok. But that is irrelevant. You can’t teach an old dog new tricks. And even if you could, would you want to be dating that dog?

The simple truth is that there are male tendencies that we just have to tolerate if we’re going to have a man around often enough to get annoyed. Don’t bother denouncing these guy habits. They’re gonna be there whether you see them or not, and whether you accept them or not.

5 Guy Tendencies We’re Just Gonna Have To Deal With

1. Memory.

Ladies, we can sponge up information, particularly conversation details, all we want. This isn’t going to make men better listeners, let alone rememberers. I don’t know the science of how our brains are wired, but I do know that men don’t give a sh*t about 80% of what we give a sh*t about, and they’re not going to go out of their way any time soon to start giving a sh*t. Date plans, anniversaries, your favorite color, that time your mother pissed you off…don’t expect any recollections from men.

2. Flakiness.

Since a lot of guys can’t remember things, (see above), a lot of them are also liable to flake out on you. Should you put up with this one? Eh, I don’t. But be ready. Men will, moreso than women in my opinion, flake out of dates/arrangements with you and you’ll be expected to understand. Read More »