Like Katy Perry, and probably many of you, I kissed a girl. And I liked it. More than once.

Most times it was the result of inebriation and the desperate urging of one of my horny guy friends at a party. But regardless how I got there, I’m always surprised by how pleasantly different it feels to kiss a girl than a guy. I guess the whole thing just feels softer and slower, and usually tastes better (like cherry chapstick?). You get smooth, pillowy lips as compared to thin, chapped ones. There’s no stubble. And with girls, tongue action is more equal, as opposed to some guys’ tendency to overpower your mouth.

Lately I’ve been wondering if kissing a girl is so different, what would having sex with a girl be like? The thought has left me awake at night with lots of questions, confusion and curiosity. When it comes to trying out the other team, there’s just so much to consider…

First of all, what does that make me?
I’m very, totally and extremely certain that I’m not gay (just ask one of the guys I’m dating). But I’m definitely not 100% straight if I’m thinking about girls this way, right? Bi-curious would probably be the best term to describe me and that’s totally fine. Actually, I think I read somewhere that most people fall in the middle on the Kinsey Scale of sexuality. There are definitely more bi-sexuals sitting among us in lecture than we think there are and, in my opinion, they’re get the best of both worlds! Read More »

It’s back-to-school time, and I’ve been spending some time lately thinking about what college means for our sex lives. College is our time to explore anything that interests us to find out what we really like and what type of people we want to become. We explore different majors, career paths, friendships, relationships, and sexualities. College is the first time in our lives most of us can really embrace our sexuality, explore it, and figure out how to truly enjoy it.

I go to a women’s college, so my first year was filled with questions from friends back home asking if I’d become a lesbian. My answer: so what if I had? And why did they care?

Despite the freedom we gain in college from adults, we are still constrained by our peers’ expectations of us, which can make it difficult to remain true to ourselves and create a healthy personal (and sexual) identity.

Here are some tips I hope you girls (and guys) can keep in mind while exploring sex in college. Read More »

My roommate recently told me a story. It was a bit graphic in nature, so I won’t share the dirty details here, but it involved her, her boyfriend, and an orgasm so intense she actually experienced female ejaculation.  Yeah, maybe we share a little too much information.

I was intrigued. (And slightly interested in borrowing that BF for myself…)

Female ejaculation is an elusive experience held by many men to be the epitome of female orgasm.  Why? Because it’s viewed as proof of an orgasm, a job well done. Women don’t have to worry about whether our partner enjoyed himself or not – there’s something sticky to prove it. But men aren’t as lucky; most of us can convincingly fake an orgasm if need be, and men realize this.

Squirting, or female ejaculation, however, can’t be faked. It is also something new and exciting and who doesn’t want to experience a new level of physical pleasure? Read More »

"Why is everyone getting some besides me!?"

My roommate has recently entered a relationship with a really hot, sexy Puerto Rican guy. As a result she has been having lots of hot, sexy sex. And as a result of this, I have been hearing every detail about it.

Being open beyond acceptable social norms, this doesn’t bug me. But while we were out recently and had one too many beers (hey, at 2 bucks a pitcher, I’m only being economical at this point), she made a comment that kind of got my wheels turning.

“Gosh. I wish you were having tons of sex too so we could freaking exchange stories already.”

Pause.
What?!

“Hello, my whole ‘thing’ is that I’m okay with being single. Who the eff are you to tell me that I need a man to be happy? Also, I think you should have to pay more rent this month cause you have just severely offended me. Jerk.” I stuck my (angry) face in the pitcher and took a gulp.

She grabbed the pitcher from me, splashing Keystone all over my face, and responded calmly. “I never said I wanted you to get a boyfriend. I said I wanted you to have lots of sex. You don’t need a boyfriend for that.”

Oh. Right. I forgot that little tiny detail. Because while I believe that you can have fun, fulfillment, enjoyment, and close personal relationships without romantic relationships…I have always been on the fence over whether or not you should have sex.

I’ve never thought it was wrong to have sex without being in a relationship. Look, this isn’t the 1950’s anymore; you don’t need someone’s letterman jacket before you crawl into the backseat of his Mustang. And while I’d never consider sleeping with seven anonymous strangers in a night, I will admit there are some (okay, a BILLION) gray areas between anonymity and monogamy. If you know the person is safe, and you know you can handle it emotionally, do you really have to be in a relationship to have sex? (And at any rate, shouldn’t physical and emotional safety be things you check up on even in a relationship?)

But, I’ve just always wondered if casual sex could be as fulfilling. Read More »

I’m gonna make a bold statement here:

Role playing is ESSENTIAL in any long-term, monogamous relationship.
And it’s just plain fun in any other situation.

Role playing allows us to live out our fantasies in a comfortable, safe situation, and adds some much needed variety to our sex lives. But as fun as it is to be someone else for a bit, it can also be really nerve-racking. We’re not all professional actors, and pretending to be someone else, especially when you’re naked and vulnerable, can be hard.

If you’ve never done it before, do it. And if you’re not sure how, here are my answers to a few questions you probably have:

Q. How do I tell my partner I want to role-play with seeming like I’m bored with him/her?

A. “I’ve always thought it would be really hot to sleep with a professor. Can I call you Dr. ______ tonight?” Most partners will be happy to help you fulfill your fantasies.

Q. What are some good role play scenarios to try?

A. Anything that turns you on. My favorites are situations where one person has to talk the other into sex because it’s “forbidden.” Something like teacher/student or boss/employee can be really hot, and you can alternate who does the convincing (i.e. naughty student or pervy professor). Read More »

My boyfriend and I have wanted to try a threesome for a little while. We both find the idea really hot, but haven’t been able to find any way to make it a reality. We have the same problem I know a lot of couples face; WHO do you ask to have sex with you?

Our first attempt was my good friend Mary. She didn’t want to participate but agreed to watch us go at it, which seemed like a fine compromise. But when we actually started having sex, she was more interested in texting on her cell phone, and we both felt too awkward to really get into it. Attempt number 1: fail.

We tried again last weekend, thinking it would be easier with someone we didn’t know. We left our cell and hotel room numbers for a cute waitress we had, and sat by the phone all night hoping she’d call. She didn’t call, and to make it even worse, we ran into her getting coffee the next morning. Awkward!

So, to help you guys out, I’ve decided to compile a few ideas on where to find someone if, you know, this is your sorta fantasy. Read More »

After undergoing a week long sex-education unit in my seventh grade health class, my creepy health teacher passed out two promise cards for us girls to sign, which stated that we promised to remain abstinent until marriage. While we were told to sign one for ourselves to keep in our purse, we were also expected to leave our John Hancock on one of the cards to turn in as an assignment – no questions asked. As my classmates complacently signed their names on the dotted lines, I remember thinking how ridiculous this task seemed – why was my stance on virginity anyone’s business? If only my feminist hero, Jessica Valenti was around then!

Feminist blogger (Feministing) and author of Full Frontal Feminism and He’s A Stud, She’s A Slut and 49 Other Double Standards Every Women Should Know, Jessica Valenti’s latest book The Purity Myth tackles the issue of “how America’s obsession with virginity is hurting young women.”

And it truly is.

Let’s get real. Regardless if you believe in saving sex for marriage or not, it is very alarming in a disparaging way to see girls only being granted value or worth for staying sexually pure instead of for their character. Why should sexuality (in the sense of remaining abstinent) be highly coveted over a teen girl’s qualities or accomplishments that make her unique? In a society that continues to worship abstinence (with virginity programs across the nation and federally funded purity balls), Valenti points out that while virginity is acceptable, having sex is also okay because at the end of the day, a young woman’s choice should not decide her existence as being morally up to standard or not.

From the get-go in The Purity Myth, Valenti confronts the definition of “virginity” and how for such an abstract idea, the concept controls and impacts girl culture today immeasurably: “The Purity Myth is for women who are suffering every day because of the lie that virginity exists, and that is has some bearing on who we are and how good we are.” Read More »

Gentlemen, take a deep breath. You might not be too happy about the latest news from the science world.

Scientists have, for the first time, successfully created human sperm from stem cells. No, the sperm don’t have the face of Woody Allen and his awkward sense of humor; they have all the characteristics of naturally produced sperm, from the head to the tail. Although “functional tests” have yet to be conducted to see if sperm generated from stem cells can fertilize an egg (shot-not on being the testee! Tee hee…), the new breakthrough has been causing quite a stir – and some anxiety for the male population.

The sperm will be used to study male infertility, but there exists an underlying worry about the viability of “petri dish” babies and the possibility that men will no longer be necessary for human reproduction. While researchers involved in the study are quickly dismissing those ideas in something of a damage control media blitz, this development certainly opens the door to consideration. Read More »

While searching for bad advice articles for this week’s column, I came (teehee) across one article that I loved so much I had to share it with all of you. The article is about female orgasm and it packages some of the best sex advice men can get into a relatively short and easy-to-read article. While this article gives me hope that guys might be learning something out there in the big world of men’s mags, it also worries me that those same guys will internalize everything they catch on these sites.

But, what can I do about it? If dudes are learning how to please a lady, who am I to argue?
Ladies, read this article with your partner!!

This Week’s Article: 10 Lessons About The Female Orgasm by Men’s Health. Read More »

Ok, so a lot of you didn’t like us ripping into California yesterday – we get it. And we’re sorry for being mean and rude and stereotypical, but we were just. so. angry. This whole Prop 8 thing has us really heated up – we can’t sleep, we can’t work, and we can’t stop drowning our anger and tears in whatever food happens to be in our sights (yes, that includes a near frozen waffle).

We are just baffled by some people’s blatant disrespect for others, not to mention their need to control something that has nothing to do with them. We really feel that sexuality is fluid, that anyone (yup, even you) could one day find yourself in love with someone of the same sex…and that there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Because this topic is so near and dear to our hearts right now – and since we don’t have the money to fly out to California and beat those idiots into submission – we thought we’d have a chat with our boys about sexuality. Granted, our boy doesn’t speak for all boys (especially on this topic), but he is always so insightful. And he was the only one awake this morning at 4am when we couldn’t sleep and needed someone to vent to while we shoveled pudding into our mouths to heal our battered hearts… Read More »