Dating is hard. But sometimes being single can be harder… a realization that has sparked our generation’s obsession with dating apps like Tinder—that and the fact that we are fascinated fans of anything that allows us to stare at our phones for hours on end.
While many people avoid Tinder because they think it is pointless or only for hooking up, there have been a large amount of relationships that have stemmed from it. It’s not all bad. So if you are frustrated with Tinder or just started using it, below are some don’ts for using the app.
1. Don’t forget to have a sense of humor.
Yes, we know that you take yourself and finding a soul mate very seriously. But our society has also become very hypersensitive and, sometimes, OVERLY politically correct. Have a personality when talking to people, and don’t immediately assume them calling you beautiful or making a profane joke warrants grounds for a feminist speech or telling them off. You may not be on there to just hook up or for shits and giggles, but that also doesn’t mean you need to be as serious and dramatic as a contestant on The Bachelor.
2. Don’t swipe just to rack up numbers.
If you aren’t going to engage in conversation and actually get to know people, or accept an invite to go on a real actual date, what’s the point? There’s no medal for how many matches you can get. In fact, the more matches you get without an actual relationship might be something to be ashamed of. Just saying.
3. Don’t only have group photos.
This is a dating app, not a Where’s Waldo? puzzle. It’s good to let people know you have friends and a bumping social life, but only having group photos shows that you may not be very confident either. If you make me work too hard to figure out which person you even are and what you look like, it’s just a sign that this relationship is already too much work than it’s worth. Also, using only pictures from your high school years isn’t a good idea. At some point, the truth will come out. Ditto with using too many filters and caking on makeup for each picture.
4. Don’t wait for matches to always initiate conversation.
I’m old fashion in that I believe guys should ask you out on a date and hold the door and offer to pay, etc. but honestly its 2015. Guys are tired of having to do all the work and I don’t blame them. Don’t think you might look too desperate if you message first, more often than not, it’ll be pleasantly surprising. You shouldn’t complain you aren’t getting dates when you aren’t having any conversations. Do some talking.
5. Don’t completely ignore messages.
It’s nerve wrecking to put yourself out there, even if it’s something as simple as, “Hey.” We’ve all been there, you yes someone who, upon them messaging you and you taking a second look and think, “Eh, maybe not.”Have some goddamn decency. Don’t leave them hanging. At least respond and be polite.
6. Don’t write a novel for a bio.
Yes, of course you want to tell people about yourself. But have some mystery. Don’t list out 50 things you are and are not looking for in your next relationship. You know what a guy probably thinks when he sees a 3 paragraph bio? “I can’t imagine what her angry texts to me would be like.” Ain’t no body got time for that. Get a diary. Talk to a friend. There are many outlets to express all your fears, hopes and dreams. Your tinder profile isn’t one of them.
7. Don’t take it so seriously.
So you didn’t get a date. So a messaging string died out. Calm down. You are not destined to be alone forever because someone unmatched you after talking.