21 Forever 21 First World Pains

There is a magnetic draw to Forever 21. When you’re out shopping, regardless of what you’re out looking for, somehow, you end up neck-deep in cheap clothing within its walls. The ever-yellow fluorescent lights haunt you even when you sleep. Thinking about the store only makes your desire for their wonderful, I repeat, cheap clothing grow. You can buy leggings and t-shirts in every color of the rainbow (you’ll probably end up buying black, anyway). Access to a plethora of cheap, patterned dresses? Awesome. Crop-tops? Definitely not appropriate for life, but whatever. Eight pairs of earrings for six dollars? Sign me up. There’s nothing not to love about this story in theory. Then, you enter the black hole, seemingly never to return.
Suddenly, you’re tearing your hair out, waiting on line for eternity with a handful of clothes you most certainly do not need.
Our blessing, our curse.

1. Walking in and not leaving for another three hours.

You do not simply just walk into Forever 21. You are sucked in forever.

2. Buying literally everything.

It’s like four dollars for a pair of leggings. How can you resist?

3. Being surrounded by middle schoolers.

Where are your parents?

4. What is the theme of this store?

More importantly, what the f*ck does this store even sell?

5. Tripping over the clothes.

Why is this store such a mess? Didn’t your parents teach you to clean up after yourselves?

6. You never just buy one thing.

There is a special kind of person who can buy only one thing at Forever 21. You are not that person.

7. Coming to terms with the fact that the clothes you’re trying on will be destroyed in the first wash.

No worries: it’s so cheap you can replace it the next day.

8. Furrowing your brow at the words plastered across shirts (America’s answer to Engrish?)

I’m not really sure why I would want the word “simple” plastered across my chest.

9. Having to wait on line at the dressing room FOREVER.

The real kicker? You’ll have to come back to try on another set of six clothes.

10. And then on the register?

This store is testing your patience, but you love it so.

11. The arm pains from carrying all the clothes, indicating that yes, you can skip the gym today.

Call the UN—the pain in your biceps is worthy of calling an international emergency.

12. Being overwhelmed by all the clothes that you forget what clothes you even like.

Do I like grunge? Do I like bohemian? Why are they mixed together? None of this makes sense.

13. RIP Bank Account

You were cruelly strangled until you had “$0.00” written across your face.

14. Buying all the cute jewelry even though you know your ears are going to blow up after an hour of wearing them.

Today is the day I overcome my allergy to fake metals and costume jewelry! (Pro-tip: It’s not.)

15. Avoiding looking at the items lining the register line because you know you will buy them.

I don’t know if I need wipes, or this brush, or this candle, or this nail polish, or this…

16. Thinking, “Why is everything in French?”

Incorrect French at that?

17. Wondering whether you’re too old to shop there.

Never. The answer is never.

18. Sensory overload from patterns you’re not sure how they made it past the drawing board.

Purple and orange should never go together, yet, there it is on ONE article of clothing.

19. At least you can buy band t-shirts?

I REPEAT: WHAT IS THE THEME OF THIS STORE?

20. Buying everything else than what you actually need.

You came here for jeans, but your bag says you needed leggings, crop tops and three new sets of earrings.

21. Going back even though you’re going to need to take a six-hour nap to recover from the shopping experience.

This sh*t should be an Olympic sport.


[Lead image via]

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