"My Friends Are Terrible Matchmakers" [Ask a Dude]

askadude
Hi Dude,
I’m constantly being dragged on double dates with a friend, her bf, and her boyfriend’s friend. It never goes well. I would love to be in a relationship since I’ve been single for quite a while and meeting through mutual friends seems like a great way to do it, but how can I make sure my friends are matching me with quality guys?
Good Friends, Bad Matchmakers
Hey Good Friends, Bad Matchmakers
God, friends suck, don’t they? I have never met a single group of people that have promoted such bad behavior out of me, insulted and provoked me, and led me astray numerous times that I consistently choose to spend my time with. They don’t know what’s good for themselves, and now I’m entrusting them to think up ideas including me? Ludicrous. I guess their intentions are good in that they want to make sure I’m having a good time, but let’s have real talk for a second: How many times have you wanted to do one thing (stay at home) and they convinced you to do the exact opposite thing (go out, get too drunk, blow too much money), and you’ve been content with that decision? I’m all for spontaneity, but I know my limits.
Limits are probably a good place to start here: If you can only handle so much of your best friend’s boyfriend’s best friend who kind of has messed up teeth and scratches his armpits in public, tell your bestie so. Then tell her boyfriend so. There’s no forcing your “type” onto people. Next talking point: Define a type of guy you’re looking for and the kind of relationship you want. Talk it out. Set up a Tinder profile and swipe through it with your friends; doing so may at least give them an idea of the type of guy you’re looking for (you may even get a date out of the idea).
No luck on that end? Figure out what you like to do with them and then go do it by yourself or with a single friend. Or figure out something you like to do and make a friend while you’re doing it. Keep the introverted activities (napping, eating a carton of ice cream, drinking a bottle of wine) off the list and go for a run, to the gym, to a coffee shop with a book or a sketch pad (I’ve been told buying coffee for a person is a great ice breaker) – places that you wouldn’t mind frequenting and dragging your friends to for approval of your choice. You’re the only person who knows what you like, so as much as your girl’s fashion sense is on point or her eyelashes are always flawless, she’s not going to see the same shade of blue in that guy across the bar’s eyes as you are. Either let them know what you’re looking for and trust their judgement as well as your intuition, or make your own way.
You got this,
The Dude
[Got a Dude itch you just can’t scratch? Sick of trying to come up with a not-totally-crazy-girl way to bring it up to your guy friends and get their take on things? Totally over over-analyzing the cryptic messages he leave on your Facebook Wall? We got your back, girlfriend. Send your question over to askthedude [at] collegecandy [dot] com. The Dude won’t sugarcoat it, beat around the bush, or any other weird cliche that means lie to you. Like a nice, juicy hot dog, he’ll be 100% real beef, 100% of the time. So bring. it. on.]
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