“If I only knew then what I know now…”
Many lessons can only be learned in hindsight. And while a lot of the mistakes I made and trouble I got into when I was 18 had to do with friends, drinking and skipping class, the majority of my ~drama~ stemmed from
men boys. Although guys still regularly baffle me, there are a handful of lessons I wish I could go back and tell to my 18-year-old self. Such as…
1. They’re never worth fighting with a friend over.
2. Right now you are not in love. You’re going to realize that this “first love” of yours, isn’t even in the same world of what you have with the first guy you’re actually in love with. And you’ll be so happy.
3. Don’t let them fool you—they gossip with their buddies just as much as you do with the girls.
4. The type of guy you are interested in now will change drastically. You just have a very small selection right now.
5. You’ll never regret waiting.
6. The guys you meet the first year in college aren’t that much more mature than those in high school—they’re just high school kids living on their own.
7. They think with their dicks, always, not with their hearts or heads. This will be true most of your life, but less so than it is right now. Remember this as often as possible.
8. You’ll regret hooking up with the boyfriend of your former best friend, and will always wish you hadn’t. You’ll make a lot of mistakes with guys, and although the drama will subside, and you’ll learn to forgive yourself, you’ll always wish you could take this one mistake back.
9. Some will try to push your boundaries and test your limits—this doesn’t mean you should let them.
10. Never, ever take “let’s watch a movie” literally.
11. I promise, the sex gets better. Like… way better. Don’t feel stupid for feeling like you don’t exactly know what you’re doing. They don’t either—and wont, for a very long time.
12. The guy who just broke your heart, and made you feel like your entire world was shattered, wasn’t confused about his feelings towards you. He was just confused about his sexuality.
13. Nothing is sexier to men than confidence.
14. What you thought was your first heartbreak, won’t be anywhere as painful or debilitating as the one you will experience where you’re 23. You will get through it, both times. And the second will change your life for the better (you’ll see).
15. The guys that make you upset now are ones you will think back on and laugh about.
16. Having sex with them is not how you get them to like you.
17. You are not a bad person for not being in love with the guy who is in love with you. No matter how hard you try, the feeling simply will never be there for you—and that’s okay. You’ll know when it actually is right, because you won’t want to cringe every time he kisses you.
18. Pay attention to what they do, not what they say.
19. Make sure he is reciprocating—in all aspects of the relationship. The ones who don’t aren’t worth a second glance.
20. Dating that guy who is 25, a wildly inappropriate 7 years older than you? Yeah, not a good idea. Fortunately you will realize this, but not nearly soon enough.
21. The ones who point out your flaws or highlight your insecurities are only doing it to distract you from their own.
22. None of the things you think are going to happen with your boyfriend are actually going to happen. Better things will happen—with someone so much better for you.
23. Just because he wants to, doesn’t mean you have to.
[Lead image via Shutterstock]