"What's The Difference Between Cute, Sexy, & Hot?" [Ask a Dude]

Hey Dude,
Guys always call me cute, but never hot or sexy. What’s the difference between cute, hot, and sexy when it comes to guys describing girls?
Thanks,
Call Me Cutie
 
Dear Call Me Cutie,
Before you begin to panic over your own self-image, I want you to first examine the context – that’s the key to differentiating among them. More often than not, when guys use words such as hot, sexy, and cute, we are not basing them off pre-selected criteria. There is no standard rating system that all guys adhere to, and when we do use a rating system (most times 1-10 scale, so douche-y I know), every guy interprets the said scale differently. That being said, if I were to try and give you some type of working definition in order to differentiate the three, then I would have to say that hot, sexy, and cute all fall under the same category – beautiful. In other words, no mater what word a guy uses to describe you, he thinks you are beautiful.
For whatever reason, guys are very hesitant to use the term beautiful when describing a girl in person. Many times over when we describe someone to others, it is spoken with some uncertainty. It’s not that we are uncertain about her beauty, but rather how our complement will be interpreted. The word “beautiful” has developed a romantic connotation, where it is most often used to describe a girl we really like or love. In fact, we are more likely to call a car or an awesome sports play beautiful before we call a girl that to her face. It is due to our own hesitance to speak the truth, not wanting for our intentions to be misinterpreted; only further increasing your frustration, I’m sure.
Whether you are called cute, sexy, or hot is than determined by a “Who, When, and Where” – it depends on who is calling you what, when they are calling you it, and where you are when they call you it. If the guy is your friend and has no intentions of developing your friendship further, then you are always cute. This can also be true for guys who have girlfriends, not wanting to offend or make their significant other jealous (if they call you hot or sexy, you should probably tell their girlfriend). Hot and sexy can be a little harder to differentiate between, but many times how they are used is determined by how truly gorgeous the girl is, how much we are trying to impress her, how much we’ve had to drink, and how much we are trying to get laaa…lunch. Try not to jump to conclusions and instead try and examine the context at which these terms are used. If anything, it can help you determine how far (or not far) into the friend zone you are.
I completely understand your frustration; it would be so much easier for us to just say it how it is and call you beautiful, because you are. You are beautiful. I wish you the best of luck. Maybe try your hand at a British or Italian boy, they tend to be better at that whole complimenting thing. With those accents, who could blame them?
Regards,
The Dude