I looked through my boyfriend’s phone and found nude pictures of his girlfriend from three years ago. Is he keeping the pictures for simple physical attraction or is it possible that he still feels an emotional connection to her and misses her?
Dear Phone Snooper,
Ugh. There are a ton of red flags here and everybody is wrong. I disagree with all of it, and I find it all to be a pretty bad situation. Let me break this down for you. Going through his phone reads, to me, as the sign of a bigger issue (or like a thousand). I’m not here to pass judgement, so I’ll give you my honest opinion, and it could go either way.
Some guys only think with one of their heads. Plain and simple. A nude is a nude is a nude. Will he one day post this on a blog under an anonymous name? Will he, perhaps, masturbate to this picture sitting in traffic (this is apparently not uncommon and I don’t even understand it a little bit)? Are her boobs perky and voluptuous while her behind is the perfect swollen pear-shape? Whatever the case may be, if he’s this type of guy, he just likes the image.
If he’s one of the guys that realizes that the blood to his member pumps from his heart, this could be another problem. This photo might have been a surprise or a gift to him. It reminds him of better times, of simpler things, of somebody he once was (and somebody he once was banging). She very well could be the one that got away. Honestly, he could miss her and not be over it.
Confronting him will cause an argument because you went through his phone and that’s a breach of trust. If you had an inkling that there was something sketchy behind the scene and found something (just as you have), then him having this picture is a breach of trust. The real question I would have rather answered here is, “Why am I still dating someone who stills has naked photos of their ex on their phones?” There’s the Internet for things like that.
I’m not sure how applicable this is, but I hope it’ll help you move forward with whatever you decide: “I think women are foolish to pretend they are equal to men, they are far superior and always have been.” – William Golding
[Got a Dude itch you just can’t scratch? Sick of trying to come up with a not-totally-crazy-girl way to bring it up to your guy friends and get their take on things? Totally over over-analyzing the cryptic messages he leave on your Facebook Wall? We got your back, girlfriend. Send your question over to askthedude [at] collegecandy [dot] com. The Dude won’t sugarcoat it, beat around the bush, or any other weird cliche that means lie to you. Like a nice, juicy hot dog, he’ll be 100% real beef, 100% of the time. So bring. it. on.]
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