How to Avoid Being a Basic B*tch This NYE

With 2016 right around the corner, most of us are scrambling to figure out what we are going to do on New Year’s Eve and what our resolutions will be.
NYE is arguably one of the most overrated “holidays.” Sure, it is fun to get dressed up and go out with your friends to celebrate. But, to be honest, it is just another night out and people often put so much pressure on this one night that it ends up sucking for them in the end.


Every year, there are a handful of things you know you are going to encounter on NYE, such as a lot of confetti, champagne and girls outside crying and trying to keep warm in freezing temperatures while wearing their little black dresses.
To avoid being a basic bitch this New Year’s, here are a list of things you should avoid doing.

This New Year’s Eve, don’t…

Drunkenly and repeatedly declare your resolution.

It’s New Year’s – everyone has a resolution. And no one wants to hear about yours. Especially not when you’re 6 vodka sodas deep and are in no way convincing that it is actually something you are serious about.

Post anything with the caption that is along the lines of “new year, new me.”

It’s a new year, but that doesn’t mean you are a new person. Contrary to popular assumption, the date changing doesn’t automatically make your life change.

Drown yourself in glitter.

We get it. This is a time of year where you can pull out any and all sequin-covered items you own. But let’s keep it to a minimum. Besides, don’t act like any of those sparkly clothes you own are actually comfortable. They scratch the hell out of your skin, let’s be real. And don’t worry, even if you don’t incorporate any glitz into your outfit, you can still have fun – and people will still be fully aware that it is New Year’s Eve.


Have a panic attack about having the perfect night. There’s an old saying about however you spend your New Year’s sets the tone for how the rest of your year will go. This is bullshit. Again, while it is a fun night to go out and celebrate, in the grand scheme of things, it is no different than any other night out with your friends. Stop putting so much pressure on yourself. It’s setting the night up for unrealistic expectations and inevitable failure.

Complain about how you have no one to kiss at midnight. Basic bitches do enough self-loathing when someone on their social media feed gets engaged. This night does not have to be yet another reason to declare how much you hate being single.

Drain your bank account buying a ticket for the best nightclub. Is shelling out a couple hundred dollars really worth standing in a dark, crowded club, surrounded by sweaty, intoxicated people?

Act surprised when you can’t catch a taxi or Uber after leaving the crowded city club you inevitably end up at. Spoiler alert: you weren’t the only one who had the idea of hitting the town and getting wasted tonight, so you can’t be surprised when you’re not the only one calling a cab to take them home.

Tornado Sweeps through Texas, Kills 11
Tornado Sweeps through Texas, Kills 11
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