“You’re going to regret being tied down.”
“Aren’t you worried you’ll miss out?”
“You won’t have time for a boyfriend in college.”
These are phrases that those of us in longterm college relationships are all to used to hearing all the time. It seems like we can’t win – when we were single, we spent the entirety of Thanksgiving explaining to Great Aunt Judy that no, we haven’t met anyone yet. When we finally did find someone worth getting into a relationship with, all the sudden we’re “tied down” and “missing out on the freedom of our college years.” Of course, there’s nothing wrong with being single, but we’re totally tired of hearing that being in a long term relationship during college is something we’ll regret later on. Newsflash: It’s totally possible to be in a dedicated, loving relationship and be a Beyonce-level independent woman. In fact, it might be better. Here’s why.
1. You don’t have to deal with the ugly side of hook-up culture.
Ever sat by silently (and maybe a little bit guiltily) while your friends talk about catching the feels for their hook-ups or debating whether they and their friends with benefits could be something more? Yeah. With a relationship, there’s no guessing game, meaning less hurt feelings when one of you doesn’t like the other “in that way.”
2. You won’t actually “miss out” on anything.
Unlike some people would have you believe, having a boyfriend doesn’t dictate what you can and cannot do. Want to hit up a frat party on Friday night with your girls? That’s your choice. Having a boyfriend doesn’t mean suddenly spending every waking moment together and never enjoying a wild girls’ night ever again. It’s all about balance.
3. You have an unconditional support system.
At the end of a bad day, sometimes the best thing in the world is having a shoulder to cry on. Sure, your besties are always there to help, but having someone who will always put you first and will be your cheerleader when you ace that exam or land that killer internship isn’t necessarily a bad thing.
4. You learn how to maintain a mature relationship.
Weekend hook-ups and the Tinder scene only go so far. It’s no secret that healthy relationships take work – when you’re in a long term relationship, you learn how to maintain a mature, adult relationship. Even if you and bae don’t stay together past college, learning to communicate and build a deep personal relationship with someone will serve you in the long run.
5. You can be independent – whether you have a boyfriend or not.
“Don’t you want to enjoy your freedom and independence while you’re young?” Last I checked, it was 2016 – meaning it’s totally possible to be in a committed relationship with someone and have a little me-time every now and then too. Just because your partner makes you happy doesn’t mean you depend on him for your happiness.
6. Sure, you may grow and change – but that doesn’t mean you can’t do it together.
One of the arguments we never seem to stop hearing against being in a relationship in college is that you’re still growing and changing as a person, and that you haven’t discovered who you are yet. Even if this is true, who said you couldn’t grow and change with someone together? There’s no reason you and your SO can’t be supportive of one another throughout your ups and downs – that’s part of being in a relationship anyway, right?