In the land of sh*tty spouses, this one takes the cake. Simon O’Kane, from the U.K., decided that it would be a really funny idea to create an eBay listing to auction away his wife like an old car, after not getting sympathy from her when he wanted it. A real knee-slapper, I’m sure. It almost sounds like the plot of some terribly overwrought TV drama, but nope, it’s real life.
O’Kane explained he put the ad up on Wednesday evening after getting fed up with his wife’s lack of sympathy. “I came in after work feeling a bit tired and unwell – my wife was doing the usual concerned bit but said I was burning the candle at both ends and was basically just whining at me,” he recalls to Metro UK. “I thought ‘right I’m going to put you up for sale.'” The original post has since been taken down because it’s literally illegal to post an actual human up for auction on eBay. But this is the Internet, and people definitely took screenshots. Not only did this guy place his wife in the “Vehicle Parts & Accessories” category on eBay, but he described her condition as “Used.” Ouch. Not even “Good” or “Like New.”
O’Kane takes it even further with the description he included for the prospective bidders (and there were many). “Not new has been used but still got some good miles left in her,” he prefaced before the pros and cons section he also included. “Reason for selling…. I’ve had my fill and feel like there HAS to be someone out there that is more deserving of her than me (oh dear god please let there be).” O’Kane then specified that there were to be no returns once his wife was claimed “…EVER!” This “no takebacks” rule only adds to the childishness of the whole thing.
O’Kane’s wife, Leandra, managed to attract a lot of bidders before the post was removed by eBay for legal reasons. It’s unclear what the starting bid was, but at the time the screenshot was taken, the highest bid was about $87,000. For a human woman. On eBay. Literally shuddering at the thought of these bidders being serious. Please let them be good samaritans.
Leandra O’Kane told Metro UK she found out about the listing only when someone at work brought it to her attention. Initially, she was understandably pissed about the listing. “I was absolutely fuming — I wanted to kill him,” she said. “Everyone at work saw it and were laughing their heads off. Not only did he put me up for sale but he used such a bad photo.”
Despite her rightful anger, she did admit to being intrigued by the response to the ad. “If eBay hadn’t taken the listing down, who knows how much I would have got?” Leandra O’Kane wondered. Thankfully, she seems to have an extremely lenient sense of humor, or is at least pretending to while she plots her vengeance on her husband.
O’Kane said the couple did get a few “pervy” messages from potential buyers asking for more photos, but that most of the responses were funny. “We both liked the guy looking to exchange her for a camel, and the guy trying to work out how much bacon he could get really got us howling,” he commented. He’s then quick to assure “It wasn’t like I’d actually let someone have her – she’s too good.”
We definitely agree with you there O’Kane; she is way too good for you.