We Need To Talk About Jake Salt From ‘Famous In Love’

Famous in Love is the kind of over-the-top Freeform teen soap that requires an accompanying drinking game — and fortunately, we found one. Gathered round my free-month of Hulu after work, full glasses of wine in hand, my friends and I scribbled rules as we thought of them on a post-it note on the coffee table in front of us.

The game evolved with unnerving speed. First, we drank whenever Cassie, our instant favorite, was a good friend. Then, we transitioned to drinking whenever Jake (Charlie DePew) — one of Bella Thorne’s love interests in the show — was a bad friend.

He’s a REALLY bad friend. He may be the worst friend I’ve ever seen portrayed on television, and frankly, he deserves to be labelled as such.

Warning: Spoilers ahead.

Let’s recap, shall we? Below is a full analysis of this supposed good-guy roommate’s actions towards Paige, the protagonist of the show.

1. He tells Paige he is not interested in more than friendship with her after they kiss.

2. He stars hooking up with Paige’s (his BEST friend) enemy despite Paige going above and beyond to make things right with his script.

3. He gets irrationally angry when Rainier becomes interested in her, even though he literally just told her he  wasn’t interested in her.

4. In fact, he gets mad at Paige for even being friends with Rainier, when all the while he is sleeping with her enemy.

5. He skips Paige’s (again, his “best friend”) BIRTHDAY because he is so jealous of her friendship/flirtation with Rainier.

6. Moreover, he spends his “best friend”‘s birthday hooking up with her nemesis.

7. He doesn’t tell Paige he sold his script, which is you know, a pretty big life move.

8. He constantly tells her she has “changed,” though I am seeing little-to-no character development from her, so explain THAT, Jake.

9. He ignores Paige’s texts and phone calls when she needs him because he’s working on his precious script again.

10. He decides to move to Austin on impulse, and won’t talk it over with his friend.

11. He definitely is moving to Austin just to get a reaction from Paige, who he never even acted like he had feelings for in the first place.

12. He tries to move out without saying goodbye to his “best friend.”

13. He declares his love for her out of nowhere and in front of an entire room of reporters, which is the least desirable location to declare your love for someone.

Tell me I’m not the only one who isn’t exactly shipping this romance here! He seems like the kind of guy who would use the term “friend-zone” six times a day and would argue against the statement “you have white male privilege.” Quite frankly, even Alexis deserves much better. HE DOES NOT DESERVE TO BE FAMOUS NOR IN LOVE.

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