Though you’ll likely never hear them, most everyone has their alcohol-based absurd memories (or lack thereof) from college or growing up, including your parents and grandparents.
Going into the weekend, the hashtag #IfAlcoholDidntExist began trending on Twitter, and the results are anything but predictable. Users are imagining a world if alcohol didn’t exist, many pointing out that lives would be spared due to drunk driving and alcoholism — but most struggling to fathom how their own lives would be altered forever, for better or for worse.
Some spoke of their personal anecdotes drinking.
#IfAlcoholDidntExist how would my friends know I love them at 3 a.m.?
— Jamie Lynn 🏄🏼♀️ (@jamielynn8282) June 24, 2017
— Ashley Nicole⚡️ (@AshLIGHTnin) June 24, 2017
#IfAlcoholDidntExist, I wouldn't be this classy.
— Jessica Jones (@JessicaJones) June 24, 2017
— papa (@nappywulf) June 24, 2017
Others posed the question in terms of broader consequences for humanity as a whole: it could affect everything from population control to Jimmy Buffet to religion.
#IfAlcoholDidntExist Jesus would have turned water into a Venti three-pump caramel frapuccino, no whip
— B I L L o n L O C K D O W N (@govierbill) June 24, 2017
#IfAlcoholDidntExist no one would like Jimmy Buffet music.
— McNeil (@Reflog_18) June 24, 2017
#IfAlcoholDidntExist then what would Jamie Foxx blame it on ?
— WESLEY (@wesleystromberg) June 24, 2017
If alcohol didn’t exist… would Jimmy Buffet be popular? Would “Wagon Wheel”? “Teenage Dirtbag”? “Friends in Low Places”? “Ignition (Remix)”? The last one was too far; that song is timeless.
The world may never know.