With the onslaught of sexual harassment allegations making headlines right now, many women are seeking ways to combat sexism and to feel safe both in the workplace and in every other facet of their lives.
A recent tweet by user vegby is going viral this week for reminding women that it’s okay to speak out when others make them feel uncomfortable or small.
She recommends phrases like “You interrupted me,” or “I already know that,” which can be applied to workplace settings or to friends, dates, or acquaintances who talk over or down to you. “Leave me alone,” and “That isn’t appropriate,” on the other hand, are important tools to have on-hand for situations that might feel unsafe or uncomfortable.
good statements for women to practice:
1) you interrupted me. i’m not finished talking.
2) no
3) that isn’t funny
4) that isn’t appropriate
4) i already know that
5) that won’t be necessary
6) leave me alone
7) you’re making me uncomfortable
8) stop ignoring what i’m saying— gem Ⓥ (@vegbby) November 15, 2017
The tweet has racked up nearly 290,000 likes and over 100,000 retweets at the time of posting, and it is resonating with women — many of whom acknowledge they would be terrified to use these phrases in real life.
Chrissy Teigen quote-tweeted the list late last week, admitting that she has never used the statements and “I kind of cringe even thinking about saying them.”
Aside from "no", I honestly don't think I have ever uttered these other statements and I kind of cringe even thinking about saying them. That is not right. Good post good post. https://t.co/0kbBXhX9HL
— chrissy teigen (@chrissyteigen) November 16, 2017
Others are sharing their own difficulty standing up for themselves, or offering their own suggestions.
It’s pretty fucked up that in practice, I personally would feel like “you interrupted me, I’m not finished talking” is rude. I have to work on that.
— Erika S. @ 🏠 (@rinkrebel) November 16, 2017
or even better way, deadpanned voice as you go "You're right, it DOES sound better when you say it." and give the most annoyed look at them. I do that, pisses them off. No matter who lol
— Kayla 🌿 [Follow new acct] (@Slimealien10) November 15, 2017
While the list is powerful and makes an important point about how women feel a societal need to censor themselves, putting it into action can be more complicated. The sobering reality for some women is that these phrases do not always help in the workplace, and can even hurt one’s reputation or career.
I’ve said these phrases to male co-workers before, and was labeled as “bitchy” or having a “bad attitude.” I always knew those words were coming but standing up for myself was more important.
— 2020 Vision (@salinaa) November 16, 2017
I've said all of them and been written up for doing it. Still worth saying, but from a woman, it still comes with consequences.
— Bare List of Words (@BareListofWords) November 18, 2017
Another common critique of the original post is that it — like so many things — puts the emotional labor on women. Several users have spoken up with their own lists of statements for men to practice that help to lift women up in the workplace, call out their friends for harmful rhetoric, and take no for an answer.
https://twitter.com/kateleth/status/931634032156086272?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fhellogiggles.com%2Flove-sex%2Frelationships%2Fimportant-statements-for-women%2F
Skimming through the comments section gives readers a small glimpse into the misogyny, shame, and stereotypes many women have been subjected to throughout their lives. The fact that such direct statements are so difficult for women to say aloud — and that so many women have had a need for them in their lives –demonstrates exactly how far we have to go to achieve gender equality.
