Kanye West isn’t one to post on social media, ever. He used to tweet, but sadly those glorious days are over. He got an Instagram account a few years ago, posted a few photos, then deleted them. His page has been blank ever since.
Until yesterday, Valentine’s Day.
I can see it now, the wheels of Kanye’s genius mind churning. He’s sitting on his ginormous white couch, foot tapping, thinking. Thinking about what to do for Kim on V-Day.
This is how I imagine his train of thought went: “What’s the greatest thing about Kim? No. What’s the most iconic thing about Kim? Her butt? Yes. But I have to think more iconic than her behind. Her social media presence and family show that reshaped pop culture? Eh, maybe.”
His eyes are glazed over, pondering the question, what makes Kim so iconic? Then it hits him, he knows why Kim is so iconic. “Me. I make Kim iconic,” Kaney whispers to himself triumphantly.
Then the thought of he and Kim as an iconic couple led him to think of other iconic couples. He yells at his assistant, “Start writing this down! Posh and David, Angelina and Brad, Jada and Will” the list goes on and on until there are no iconic couples left. His assistant’s thumbs are quivering.
There was only one thing left to do, post photos of these couples on Instagram and end, of course, with the greatest, most iconic couple of all time, Kimye.
Kanye redownloads the Instagram app. He yells at his assistant, “Yo, what’s my password?” His assistant, whose thumbs are still ghost tapping away responds, “You have an Instagram?”
Kanye shakes his head and hits “Reset password.” Finally, after entering the code that was sent to his phone, he is in.
That’s how I imagine Kanye came to the conclusion to post 55 photos on Instagram in an eight-hour span. He isn’t wrong though, Kimye is definitely an iconic couple.
I still think he should have posted a photo of every single one of his exes, ended with about 50 photos of Kim and on the last photo make the caption, “One good girl is worth a 1,000 bitches.” But what do I know, I’m not Kanye.