Dear Dude,
I met a guy on vacation this month and really hit it off. We hung out the entire week and had an emotional goodbye. He goes to college about five hours away from me, and we said we would talk when we got back and see if there was still something there. However, despite my efforts to keep in touch, he’s become really distant since returning home. Is this vacation fling worth trying to pursue or is it a lost cause?
Summer Lovin’
Dear Summer Lovin’
Searching through my moral and intellectual inventory, I’m left coming up with all kinds of clichés. “Love will find a way,” or “People come into your life for a reason,” or, “If you love something, set it free.” The cliché as a concept has value, but probably not in the same way you think.
Vacation is a special circumstance to the everyday grind intended for normal people to get out of their way and relax, to be carefree and impulsive. Should you meet a special someone, it has potential to form into “the honeymoon” state of a relationship. You think about college and talk about the future, but those are far away things that have to develop all their own. If you were asking me about whether or not you should try and keep in touch with him as soon as you got back, I would say let the dice roll; but the sad fact of the matter is, if you’ve tried to stay in touch and he’s fallen off, things are probably a lost cause.
People do come into your life for a reason, whether it be or a day, a season, or a lifetime. This guy must have been great, and I would even consider telling him that you’ve noticed his change in behavior if he really was great, but he won’t be the last one if he’s not being the right one right now. The true measure of a man is when he comes face-to-face with his reality and does what he said he will do, not what is convenient for him. Since you’ve loved something (him, but in the loose and romantic sense of the phrase), do set him free; remember the summer vacation you had with a boy down the years as you grow, and if nothing else, you had a lot of fun with. Love will find a way. Maybe not with him or right now, but maybe with him down the road, or with someone better. The good thing about these seasonal people is that next summer things may roll around like nothing’s ever changed or they may roll around like they’ve never happened. But your summer fling, to me, sounds just that, and that means you have something better coming from it.
Stay sentimental, stay soft, and stay strong.
The Dude
Got a Dude itch you just can’t scratch? Sick of trying to come up with a not-totally-crazy-girl way to bring it up to your guy friends and get their take on things? Totally over over-analyzing the cryptic messages he leave on your Facebook Wall? We got your back, girlfriend. Send your question over to askthedude [at] collegecandy [dot] com. The Dude won’t sugarcoat it, beat around the bush, or any other weird cliche that means lie to you. Like a nice, juicy hot dog, he’ll be 100% real beef, 100% of the time. So bring. it. on.]
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"Is A Vacation Fling Worth Pursuing Long Term?" [Ask A Dude]
