Week after week (after week after week…), CollegeCandy and our pal John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, and saddest things he hears on his college campus. And we know he’s not the only one who hears this stuff. Join the Overheard revolution! Listen in on some weirdos’ conversations and share them in the comments or send ‘em over. You know there’s a lot of funny things to be heard on your campus, so take off those (faux) Burberry ear muffs and tune in.

(Girl, boy, after a class.)

Girl:  I bet you had an erection that whole lecture.
Boy: No, I didn’t.

(Two interns, talking in an office breakroom.)

Girl: I think public art is important.

Guy: And pubic art, too.

Girl: Well, that goes without saying. Read More »

Dear readers, I come to you now because I, like most girlfriends I’m sure, need to vent.

While I love my boyfriend Matt to death, there comes a time (OK, many times) when he drive me insane. Sometimes all of the little annoying habits he has make either want to barf or slap him upside the head. I’m sure some of you will think “That’s terrible! I would never be grossed out by or want to hurt my boyfriend!” But I’d put money down on the table right now that most of you feel my pain and are sitting there right now thinking, “OMG, sometimes my boyfriend annoys the crap out of me.”

For instance, let’s just take the fact that men, by nature, are gross. Matt is no exception (obviously). While yes, it’s appreciated that he showers regularly and brushes his teeth, it still grosses me out to no end when he wakes up in the morning and immediately starts hacking and coughing up God knows what. I know that people have to take care of some phlegm in the morning on occasion, but this is every. single. morning. And it’s not one cough either – it’s several loud and, from the sound of it, very productive hacks. Trust me, it’s not what you want to hear at 6 a.m. when you’re trying desperately to get a few more precious minutes of sleep.

Then there’s the failed attempts at humor. While Matt has a great sense of wit and is usually really dang funny, he’s got one flaw in the comedy department: accents and impersonations. That really wouldn’t be a big deal if it weren’t for the fact that he tries to do them just about every time we’re with people. As a former theater major, bad accents get to me. I did a year of Irish dialect training, so when he tries his hand at an Irish brogue, it’s not only totally unfunny, but it has the same effect on me that nails on the chalkboard have one the rest of society. And our friends have noticed as well. Read More »

Week after week (after week after week…), CollegeCandy and our pal John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, and saddest things he hears on his college campus. And we know he’s not the only one who hears this stuff. Join the Overheard revolution! Listen in on some weirdos’ conversations and share them in the comments or send ‘em over. You know there’s a lot of funny things to be heard on your campus, so take off those (faux) Burberry ear muffs and tune in.

(Two girls, on a campus bus.)

Girl 1: So did they have sex?

Girl 2: No, they boarded Penetration Station but the train never left.

(Girls in pajamas, waiting in line at Dunkin Donuts.)

Girl 1: It was hands versus boobs.

Girl 2: That’s a really hard fight to win.

(Two guys, talking in the student lounge.)

Guy 1: They’ve really improved dread rendering, haven’t they.

Guy 2: Yeah. Dreads are just these big snakey lumps. Read More »

Week after week (after week after week…), CollegeCandy and our pal John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, and saddest things he hears on his college campus. And we know he’s not the only one who hears this stuff. Join the Overheard revolution! Listen in on some weirdos’ conversations and share them in the comments or send ‘em over. You know there’s a lot of funny things to be heard on your campus, so take off those (faux) Burberry ear muffs and tune in.

(Customer and cashier, at a cash register.)

Cashier: That doesn’t even look like your signature.

Customer: I know. It looks like Chinese or something.

Cashier: Yeah, I think it looks like if somebody had a stroke.

Customer: Yeah I was going to say that, but I thought that would be inappropriate.

(Guy and girl in tour group, walking through campus.)

Guy: Flying’s weird. Turbulence feels like you’re … hitting a ton of small animals, or something.

Girl: Ohh-kay. Don’t know you well enough for that kind of humor yet. Read More »

Week after week (after week after week…), CollegeCandy and our pal John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, and saddest things he hears on his college campus. And we know he’s not the only one who hears this stuff. Join the Overheard revolution! Listen in on some weirdos’ conversations and share them in the comments or send ‘em over. You know there’s a lot of funny things to be heard on your campus, so take off those (faux) Burberry ear muffs and tune in.

(Two guys, on a day trip to farm)

Guy 1: Look! A bunch of cows!
Guy 2: Herd of cows!
Guy 1: Of course I’ve heard of cows!
Guy 2: No, no! A cow herd!
Guy 1: What do I care if a cow heard? I never said anything I shouldn’t have!

(Girl and guy, walking.)

Girl: I’m starving. Let’s get burgers.
Guy: Fur burgers?

(Guy, girl, in a restaurant.)

Guy: I’ve heard from Davis and Florida State.

Girl: Wait, Florida State? Where’s that?

(Two girls, walking around an art museum.)

Girl 1: I didn’t think people wore dresses like that back then.

Girl 2: I didn’t know people knew what boobs were back then. Read More »

Week after week (after week after week…), CollegeCandy and our pal John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, and saddest things he hears on his college campus. And we know he’s not the only one who hears this stuff. Join the Overheard revolution! Listen in on some weirdos’ conversations and share them in the comments or send ‘em over. You know there’s a lot of funny things to be heard on your campus, so take off those (faux) Burberry ear muffs and tune in.

(Girls, on a park bench.)

Girl 1: … And he said he was afraid to sleeping with me!

Girl 2: I think he’s gay. Or not human.

Girl 3: Oh no! The cockroach clones again?

(Girls, talking at dinner.)

Girl: Today was horrible.

Girl 2: Yeah?

Girl 1: I had the worst headache. It was so bad, I couldn’t pee. Read More »

Week after week (after week after week…), CollegeCandy and our pal John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, and saddest things he hears on his college campus. And we know he’s not the only one who hears this stuff. Join the Overheard revolution! Listen in on some weirdos’ conversations and share them in the comments or send ‘em over. You know there’s a lot of funny things to be heard on your campus, so take off those (faux) Burberry ear muffs and tune in.

(Girl, yelling, in a bar bathroom.)

Girl: … I’m NOT PREGNANT!

(Two guys, walking in an apartment parking lot.)

Guy 1: Dude, look at that cat. Is that cat drunk?

Guy 2: No, man, everyone knows cats don’t drink.

(Two girls, walking)

Girl 1: OK, we take this to the grave.

Girl 2: Yeah, no one can find out.

Girl 1: Kinda like the time I cried in the Lizzie McGuire movie.

Girl 2: Or when you peed on Stacie’s boots. Read More »

Week after week (after week after week…), CollegeCandy and our pal John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, and saddest things he hears on his college campus. And we know he’s not the only one who hears this stuff. Join the Overheard revolution! Listen in on some weirdos’ conversations and share them in the comments or send ‘em over. You know there’s a lot of funny things to be heard on your campus, so take off those (faux) Burberry ear muffs and tune in.

(Two guys, leaving a dining hall with hand sanitizer.)

Guy 1: All right. Sterilized high five!

(Girls, at breakfast.)

Girl 1: How was the party?

Girl 2: Weird. Some guy and his girlfriend trapped me in the bathroom all night.

(Two guys, in line for brunch.)

Guy 1: Man, I got so lucky last night.

Guy 2: Oh dude. Did you do it on her face?

Guy 1: … What? No! I didn’t get beat up! Read More »

Week after week (after week after week…), CollegeCandy and our pal John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, and saddest things he hears on his college campus. And we know he’s not the only one who hears this stuff. Join the Overheard revolution! Listen in on some weirdos’ conversations and share them in the comments or send ‘em over. You know there’s a lot of funny things to be heard on your campus, so take off those (faux) Burberry ear muffs and tune in.

(Guy, talking on the phone.)

Guy: Know how you win an argument? You spank ‘em. Can’t nobody argue with a good spank.

(Two girls, browsing in a convenience store.)

Girl 1: Twix?

Girl: 2: Nah. That doesn’t really lubricate my gears.

(Girl, yelling, behind me at a basketball game.)

Girl: No … ! Don’t dribble! Please don’t dribble! If you dribble, it’ll never come back! I’ll never come back! Read More »

Week after week (after week after week…), CollegeCandy and our pal John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, and saddest things he hears on his college campus. And we know he’s not the only one who hears this stuff. Join the Overheard revolution! Listen in on some weirdos’ conversations and share them in the comments or send ‘em over. You know there’s a lot of funny things to be heard on your campus, so take off those (faux) Burberry ear muffs and tune in.

(Two guys in the grocery store.)

Guy 1: What about that? Gorilla grape. What do you think?

Guy 2: No, man, like … think about it. Gorilla? Ew. I don’t want to drink that.

(Girl, on the phone in Starbucks.)

Girl: You puked in the middle of the street? How drunk were you?…. Sober? Who pukes sober?

(Guy, on the phone in the art lab.)

Guy: Listen, you don’t need to care. But I can fit inside a dinosaur. Read More »