Week after week (after week after week…), CollegeCandy and our pal John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, and saddest things he hears on his college campus. And we know he’s not the only one who hears this stuff. Join the Overheard revolution! Listen in on some weirdos’ conversations and share them in the comments or send ‘em over to us to put in next week’s post.

(Guy, two girls, at dining hall breakfast.)

Guy: You girls don’t need your buns toasted, do you?

Girl 1: Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh.

Girl 2: Heh heh. No.

Guy: I was talking about the hot dog buns.

(Girl, on the phone, on a campus thoroughfare.)

Girl: I wish you didn’t have a penis!

(Beat)

Girl: Well, then I wish you would stop jerking off in the shower! Read More »

Every week, CC and John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, and saddest things he hears on his college campus. And we know he’s not the only one who hears this stuff. Join the Overheard revolution! Leave your own overheard convos in the comments or send ‘em over!

(Guy, at a dining hall’s table, eating dinner.)

Guy: Isn’t what we call cauliflower just effeminate broccoli?

(Guys in a public library.)

Guy: So I was reading The Babysitter’s Club, and I guess Grandma had a really cool secret. But chapter books are too much for me these days, so I just flipped to the back to find out what it was. Turns out Grandma just had breast cancer.

(Guy, walking on the beach.)

Guy: I’m Tin Pin Bill. See, they used to call me  Crim Pin Bill, but that didn’t really make any sense. Read More »

Every week, CC and John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, and saddest things he hears on his college campus. And we know he’s not the only one who hears this stuff. Join the Overheard revolution! Leave your own overheard convos in the comments or send ‘em over!

(In a calculus class.)

Professor: Does anyone know the answer? *points to guy in class* What about you? And say, do I know you? You look familiar.

Guy: I took this class before. And no, I don’t.

(Two bros, walking in the rain.)

Bro 1: Yo, when I say “no homo,” it means you let me under your umbrella.

(Two girls playing with a Slinky.)

Girl 1: See that? If human fat had bones, that’s how it would look. Read More »

Every week, CC and John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, and saddest things he hears on his college campus. And we know he’s not the only one who hears this stuff. Join the Overheard revolution! Leave your own overheard convos in the comments or send ‘em over!

(Girl, raising hand in class.)

Girl: Wait, so … some languages don’t have vowels? That’s IMPOSSIBLE! How are you supposed to pronounce them? Do you have to guess? I can’t believe that! That’s so stupid! *scribbles furiously in notebook*

(Professor, teaching a class.)

Prof: Heaven is hard to describe. I’ve seen plenty of evocative depictions of Hell, but I’ve never seen a truly compelling vision of Heaven.

Student, interrupting: May I suggest one?

Prof: No. I want to talk about something else.

(Two guys, getting into their car.)

Guy: You ever notice that every time we go to make candles, one of us cheats on his girlfriend? Read More »

Every week, CC and John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, saddest things he hears on his college campus. Join the Overheard revolution!Leave your own overheard convos in the comments or send ‘em over!

(Freshman in a dining hall.)

Freshman: College is so cool! It’s, like, the most sophisticated universe in the universe.

(Angry girl, heard through a dorm-room door.)

Girl: F***in’ a! What am I supposed to do? Dogs ate my underwear!

(Two girls, in the business school.)

Girl 1: I love Humphrey Bogart

Girl 2: Yeah, me too. Did you know he got his start in ’80s science fiction B-movies?

Girl 1: Wow, really?

Girl 2: No. Read More »

Every week, CC and John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, saddest things he hears on his college campus. Join the Overheard revolution!Leave your own overheard convos in the comments or send ‘em over!

(Guys, walking through a grove on-campus.)

Guy: Nice day… birds, blue skies, not a cloud in sight. Yup. This rock looks pretty good to take a crap on.

(Older student, talking to high schooler on campus tour.)

Student: There’s actually a statistic, I think, something like 30 percent of the liquid of water parks is urine.

High schooler: Yeah, that sounds pretty reasonable. That’s about right.

Student: What the f***? No it’s not! That would be disgusting!

(Guy, preparing Mexican food.)

Guy: I love cilantro. It makes everything taste like it’s just been rinsed in a mountain waterfall. Read More »

Every week, CC and John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, saddest things he hears on his college campus. Join the Overheard revolution!Leave your own overheard convos in the comments or send ‘em over!

(Guy and a girl, talking at the grocery store.)

Guy: Did you put “gross sh*t and lipids” on the list?

Girl: Yeah, I figured we needed some.

(Girl, on the phone.)

Girl: Well, what am I supposed to say? “Sorry, dad, I filled the car with zinfandel and used it as a swimming pool?”

(Two guys, standing next to the radio at a party.)

Guy: Wait, isn’t Miley Cyrus that pedophile? Read More »

Every week, CC and John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, saddest things he hears on his college campus. Join the Overheard revolution!Leave your own overheard convos in the comments or send ‘em over!

(Guy and a girl, talking loudly at a Thai restaurant.)

Guy: Wait, what did you say? I’m the queen of miscommunication?

Girl: No! No, I said I was -

Guy: Well. This is ironic.

(Two girls, talking in an outdoor shopping center.)

Girl 1: *whisper… whisper* … all those BLIND PEOPLE!

Girl 2: Omigod, that girl just turned around and looked at us. Do you think she’s blind? Read More »

Every week, CC and John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, saddest things he hears on his college campus. Join the Overheard revolution!Leave your own overheard convos in the comments or send ‘em over!

(Two students, hunched over books in Starbucks.)

Girl 1: Pith. That means ‘courage,’ right? Like ‘full of pith and vinegar’?

Girl 2: I think that’s ‘piss and vinegar.’

Girl 1: I guess I’ve only heard it said by gay pirates.

(Old people sitting down in a restaurant.)

Old Lady: Oh, in my industry, we only have one joke. Customers ask, ‘Which vacuum is the best?’ And I say, ‘Oh, they all suck.’ Ha!  Ha ha ha!

Other old people: Ha ha ha! Read More »

Every week, CC and John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, saddest things he hears on his college campus. Join the Overheard revolution!Leave your own overheard convos in the comments or send ‘em over!

(Two guys, talking next to a weight bench.)

Guy 1: We skied a whole bunch last winter. Do you partake?
Guy 2: Yeah, sometimes. You’re talking about cocaine, right?

(Guy, on the phone. Sounds like he’s getting through a breakup.)

Guy: Thanks for talking about this with me. It’s really hard to talk about sometimes.

(beat)

Hey, well, we’re both single now, right?

(beat)

Well, that was kinda rude. Read More »