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This Update About The Live-Action ‘Mulan’ Is Heartbreaking

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Mulan

Haters be damned, I am here for the Disney live-action remake machine. I teared up at the wholesome dialogue in Cinderella, I subtly head-bobbed throughout much of Beauty and the Beast, and I was ready for Mulan, arguably Disney’s strongest animated classic (and certainly the one with the best soundtrack.)

For some inexplicable reason, Disney is getting down to business to defeat Mulan by making the live-action film with “no songs.”

Excuse me?

How will we understand Mulan’s struggle to be what society asks of her without “Reflection?” How will we ever smile again without the certifiable banger that is “Be a Man?”

In an interview with MovieFone, director Niki Caro hinted that the adaptation won’t be a musical at all, unlike Beauty and the Beast, which was largely loyal to its original script.

“From what I understand, no songs right now, much to the horror of my children,” she confirmed, with the force of a great typhoon.

More like to the horror of the WORLD, Niki. What a spineless, pale, pathetic lot of producers must be making the decisions here.

Still, “right now,” may leave some hope for change. And Caro does say that it will be “a big, girly martial arts epic,” that is “extremely muscular,” and “entertaining and moving.” (Don’t love the qualifier of “girly,” especially considering the theme of this movie, but I’m hoping it was a slip.)

Here’s hoping it will still bring honor to us all.

COLLEGECANDY Writer
Writer. Boxed mac & cheese aficionado. I tried to start a girl-band when I was 12.
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