13 Items I Accidentally Bought At Target While Looking For A New Toothbrush

Never have I ever gone to Target and bought one item. If you put a finger down, get out of here — I don’t believe you in the slightest. The reason for the retailer’s allure and incomprehensible ability to trap you in its clutches for an entire afternoon could be in the research — music increases productivity when shopping and Target is always silent, Delish reports.

Still, a poorly-chosen Train song circa 2009 may not be enough to free me from its charms. Yesterday I went to Target to buy a new toothbrush. Granted, I could have bought a toothbrush somewhere else, but I did not. I also did no leave with just a toothbrush.

However, I did leave with:

  1. a mini travel case of Advil despite no upcoming travel plans
  2. a 4-pack of EOS lip balm in varying flavors
  3. double-stuff golden Oreos
  4. the light blue Gatorade for the next time I get hungover from two glasses of wine
  5. a 4th of July headpiece from the dollar section though I have never in my life felt less patriotic and will likely feel uncomfortable celebrating the holiday this year
  6. a quirky porcelain mug for my friend’s birthday in September
  7. the novel Sweetbitter
  8. a 3-pack of rom coms for $5.00 including that Amanda Bynes movie where her dad is a British politician and her love interest has chunky highlights and says things like “Be who you are”
  9. a $15 choker that in retrospect is not especially trendy after all
  10. a mixed blue-and-red slushie to fortify my shopping stamina
  11. mascara
  12. a vanilla caramel amber bonfire candle
  13. a detoxifying charcoal face mask

Spending money

Someone subdue me.

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