Never have I ever gone to Target and bought one item. If you put a finger down, get out of here — I don’t believe you in the slightest. The reason for the retailer’s allure and incomprehensible ability to trap you in its clutches for an entire afternoon could be in the research — music increases productivity when shopping and Target is always silent, Delish reports.
Still, a poorly-chosen Train song circa 2009 may not be enough to free me from its charms. Yesterday I went to Target to buy a new toothbrush. Granted, I could have bought a toothbrush somewhere else, but I did not. I also did no leave with just a toothbrush.
However, I did leave with:
- a mini travel case of Advil despite no upcoming travel plans
- a 4-pack of EOS lip balm in varying flavors
- double-stuff golden Oreos
- the light blue Gatorade for the next time I get hungover from two glasses of wine
- a 4th of July headpiece from the dollar section though I have never in my life felt less patriotic and will likely feel uncomfortable celebrating the holiday this year
- a quirky porcelain mug for my friend’s birthday in September
- the novel Sweetbitter
- a 3-pack of rom coms for $5.00 including that Amanda Bynes movie where her dad is a British politician and her love interest has chunky highlights and says things like “Be who you are”
- a $15 choker that in retrospect is not especially trendy after all
- a mixed blue-and-red slushie to fortify my shopping stamina
- a vanilla caramel amber bonfire candle
- a detoxifying charcoal face mask
Someone subdue me.