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Zayn Malik has spoken out extensively about his struggles with anxiety and disordered eating while he was in One Direction, and now former member Liam Payne is sharing his own experiences.
“Going out and putting that happy smile on my face and singing the songs, honestly, sometimes it was like putting on one of those costumes,” the 24-year-old singer explained to The Sun, “going out there and, underneath the costume, people don’t really see what’s going on.”
The band’s often-grueling schedule also presented problems for Liam while on tour.
“I shouldn’t have been able to do as many shows as we did, if I’m honest about it,” he admitted, “if I’m brutally honest about it.”
He also referenced the time One Direction cancelled a 2015 show in Belfast, which was right after he had split from his ex-girlfriend Sophia Smith and was feeling especially low.
“I let it get to me that day,” he explained. “I wasn’t in a good place. And unfortunately I was going through a rough time and I let it get to me a little bit too much. That was it.”
Both Liam and Zayn say that they are in a much better place now that they are working on their own solo music and adhering to their own schedules.
“We needed a realization point to find the love for it again, rather than it just becoming a job,” Payne said.
The feeling of going through the motions, or performing (though often much less literal) is a common feeling for many people who struggle with depression and anxiety. In speaking out about how a demanding time in his life impacted his mental health, Payne is both easing the stigma surrounding such common mental illnesses and reminding his fans the personal and professional strain that can often be placed on celebrities.
