Diary of the Undateable

Jul 5, 2014

What Does Undateable Mean? – The Farewell Post [Diary of the Undateable]

So what makes me undateable? I mean, I’ve been writing about how I am for two and a half years…but what does it all mean, exactly?

Jun 28, 2014

I Survived The Third Date [Diary of the Undateable]

The first date indicates if a person’s worth your time. The second date is a way to see if the spark is really there. The third date, though? That’s when you’re officially in it to win it.

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Jun 21, 2014

Single Girl Myths Debunked, Vol. III [Diary of the Undateable]

When I block a guy, I don’t have to go through the motions of hoping and thinking that it’s him. Because it isn’t. Because he can’t get through to me.

Jun 13, 2014

It All Started With Flappy Bird [Diary of the Undateable]

“Have you thought about selling your iPhone with Flappy Bird on it?” Mike from Tinder asked me, one day before...

Jun 6, 2014

Don’t Fall Into His Check-Up Text Trap [Diary of the Undateable]

I know that the power in a relationship falls under the person who cares the least…and as awful as it sounds, I’ve grown to hate being the person who cares the most.

May 30, 2014

No Benefits In This Friendship [Diary of the Undateable]

A few days after our date, Big Kid asked me for a picture. Not a smizing selfie or even an Instagram screenshot, but a photo. Of the dirty variety.

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May 23, 2014

I’m Willingly Getting Into Trouble [Diary of the Undateable]

Relax and live a little, she said. It’ll be fun, she said. You won’t get hurt, she said. And true to her nature, she’s dumb as hell for thinking that.

On Being Unapologetically Upfront [Diary of the Undateable]

Richie was a weirdo. I’d already decided this 30 seconds after we matched on Tinder.

May 16, 2014

Paying to Play the Dating Game [Diary of the Undateable]

You know, I’d always heard horror stories about how painful waxing is. It’s not like I hadn’t experienced it in a smaller dosage – I routinely got my eyebrows waxed. But there is a huge difference between getting your brows waxed and getting a Brazilian. HUGE.

May 9, 2014

All Text, No Action [Diary of the Undateable]

A few months ago, I received the most unique message that I’ve received on OkCupid thus far. And by unique, I mean something other than “I like your boobs.”

May 2, 2014

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Apr 25, 2014

Are We Too Lazy for Real Love? [Diary of the Undateable]

Out of curiosity, I asked my little sister and cousin how they meet boys these days. They gave me typical answers to be expected of teens: parties, pools, summer camp. One answer surprised me, though – Instagram.

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Apr 18, 2014

In Defense of the Read Receipt [Diary of the Undateable]

My feelings have been hurt many times by the good ol’ RR…including by my dad. My own FATHER, y’all.

Apr 11, 2014

I Want My Own Love Story, And That’s Okay [Diary of the Undateable]

I want the little things…like a guy who writes me love letters – or in this day and age, love texts – every morning. I want “just because” flowers. And besides the tangible stuff – I want to feel like I’m a princess.

Apr 4, 2014

The Bad Date That Won’t Die [Diary of the Undateable]

My friend Lenia was in town for the weekend. We caught up over sushi and plum wine in Cobble Hill when she mentioned that one of her OkCupid matches wanted to meet up with her that night. As she showed me the text, I noticed his name before anything else – Mitt.

Mar 28, 2014

New Beginnings Don’t Always Guarantee New Outcomes [Diary of the Undateable]

I deleted my OkCupid profile at the beginning of the year. I figured that I needed a fresh start. I had it for a good 24 months, met two douchebags and a handful of creeps who sent really uncomfortable messages. The page had bad vibes, man. So I started fresh and made a brand new one.

Mar 21, 2014

Maybe It’s Time We Start Negotiating Our Non-Negotiables [Diary of the Undateable]

What I don’t have are non-negotiables – dating deal breakers. It’s not like I’ve dated tons and tons of guys, so there aren’t any huge no-no’s that I’ve established.

Mar 14, 2014

True Life: I Just Might Be Thirsty [Diary of the Undateable]

Whenever I like a guy – I mean really, really like a guy – I somehow lose all of my hard-earned, Howard-educated judgment and morph into a third grader.

Mar 7, 2014

How “Just Go With the Flow” Relationships Are a Trap [Diary of the Undateable]

If you know that you care about someone and the feeling’s mutual, who needs a title or even a Facebook status? Just be. But that’s how girls get caught up.

Feb 28, 2014

The Curious Case of #BrokeBoy [Diary of the Undateable]

When is it ever okay for a boy (not a man) to ASK a young lady who he barely knows to take HIM out? My mans, aren’t you supposed to be impressing me?

Feb 21, 2014

Extinguishing an Old Flame For Good [Diary of the Undateable]

Men – not boys – go after what they want. If they like you, or are even remotely interested, they WILL get you…or at least try.

Feb 14, 2014

I’m My Own Valentine, And I’m Okay With That [Diary of the Undateable]

This year, it’s just me, myself and I. And I’m starting to realize that that might be best…not just on February 14, but for a little while.

Feb 7, 2014

Just Because I’m “Undateable” Doesn’t Mean I Can’t Be Selective [Diary of the Undateable]

Let’s be honest here. Looks aren’t everything and certainly shouldn’t be, but they play a huge part in dating – especially online dating, where much of the importance is placed on the perfect profile picture.

Jan 31, 2014

Why “The Steve Harvey Show” Rejected Me [Diary of the Undateable]

It was a call for essays from Michael Ealy's Biggest Fan. "How would you like to look directly into those bedroom eyes? It can happen, right here on the Steve Harvey show!" Girl, I was SOLD.

Jan 24, 2014

What’s the Best Way to Break Up? [Diary of the Undateable]

During the holidays, I tinkered with Tinder and even dusted the cobwebs off of my 2-year-old Plenty of Fish profile, making sure to avoid OkCupid at all costs. It’s not a permanent goodbye, but I’ve already met enough douchebags on there.

Jan 17, 2014

I Really Don’t Know How to Date [Diary of the Undateable]

There’s nothing wrong with casual dating, of course. I just don’t know if I’m cut out for it because I don’t know what I’m doing, and because I’ve never been in a real relationship.

Jan 10, 2014

Should Old Acquaintance Be Forgot, Part II [Diary of the Undateable]

Like the rest of the free world, I played Beyonce's fifth album on repeat as soon as it dropped. After the 4444th listen, I realized that Bey wasn’t making music for all the single ladies anymore – she was doing it for the lovers. The committed. The dateable.

Jan 3, 2014

Should Old Acquaintance Be Forgot, Part I [Diary of the Undateable]

I paced around my empty apartment, racking my brain for something to do…you know, besides job apps. I was lonely, which is weird for someone who’s so used to being alone. I could’ve called one of my homegirls to catch up or hang out, but I craved company – the male kind.

Dec 27, 2013

8 Relationship Fails I’m Leaving Behind in 2013

Every single guy that I talked to this year was a complete and utter asshole. And it’s not like I didn’t see the signs…I just chose to ignore them because I was so thirsty for a boo. But it’s cool. If anything, I learned valuable lessons from the douchebags that I encountered – with the primary one being not to date douchebags, obvi.

Dec 20, 2013

Just a Friendship [Diary of the Undateable]

Being friendzoned – when a person develops romantic feelings for someone, but the other person only sees the relationship as just being friends, according to Urban Dictionary – had to be one of the hugest ego crushers that I experienced this year.

Dec 13, 2013

True Life: I Actually Like Arrogant Guys [Diary of the Undateable]

It sucks, but I’ve never had a guy genuinely like me. I came to this harsh realization after poring over one of my go-to read, “He’s Just Not That Into You.” The message is simple, really - if a guy wants to talk to you, he'll call. If he wants to see you, he'll see you. If he says he sees a future with you, then he'll start to make it happen.

Dec 6, 2013

Not Playing Games = Getting Played [Diary of the Undateable]

I pride myself on being a truthful person…always have been. As a kid, when my parents asked me to confess...

Nov 29, 2013

Three Tips for Seeing An Old Flame Over Break [Diary of the Undateable]

'Tis the season for food, friends and family...but old boos always find a way to mess up that holiday cheer. One of my friends, Ashley, hit me up with a holiday dilemma.

Nov 22, 2013

On Instagram Straight Flexin’ [Diary of the Undateable]

He was the world’s worst communicator. But whenever I posted something on Instagram, he’d always hit me up. Always. I could be waiting for an answer for days at a time but if I posted a selfie or something, he’d come sliding back into my inbox.

Nov 15, 2013

An Open Letter to Bad Texters [Diary of the Undateable]

I had a Vera Wang tab open in Safari as soon as we said goodbye. I couldn’t wait ‘til you hit me up because I just KNEW that your text was on fire. And our initial textual exchanges were just like when we met…the conversation was flowing and the emojis were going. It was perfect. But you changed. You’re different. And I just don’t like it.

Nov 8, 2013

Single Girl Myths Debunked, Vol. II [Diary of the Undateable]

I’ve grown so accustomed to blending in, doing my own thing and avoiding unwanted attention that it’s hard for me to notice if someone’s noticing me.

Oct 25, 2013

No Need to Read Between the Lines, There’s Nothing There [Diary of the Undateable]

“Why does he act like he wants to be with me when he says that he doesn’t?!” I asked Tranessa.