Wait. Hugh Hefner was married?!

Is that what they teach at Catholic colleges?

The Real Housewives of Atlanta put Ellen in the middle.

The best workout tool ever? We think so.

Simon Cowell is too good for The Beatles.

Who dares cross Tyra Banks!?

Ah Twitter.

You know something’s a hit when verbs are being made out of it. Or when Oprah is doing it on live TV. Or when Anderson Cooper is begging people to follow CNN in order to beat Ashton Kutcher in the race to 1 MILLION followers (typed in Dr. Evil speak, obvi).

Much like Facebook took on its own verbiage (“I Facebooked him,” or, after every drunken photo op at the bar, you yell “tag it!”), Twitter is the newest pop culture obsession amongst celebs and mere mortals alike. With it came not only a new set of Internet jargon (“He Tweeted you WHAT?”), but yet another networking site for you to update and check incessantly in class…

Frankly, it all seems exhausting, but never one to be left out I joined the bandwagon and I’m Twittering away! (Follow me @mysocalled20s and our CollegeCandy page @collegecandy!)

It’s addicting. It’s entertaining. It’s even more proof – not like we really need it – that our generation is is all about narcissism and shameless self promotion.

And I love every second of it. (Almost as much as I love myself/looking at myself in the mirror.)

Apparently so do our favorite celebs. Maybe it’s because it’s a way to connect with fans without being shrieked at on the street. Maybe it’s because they can set the record straight without going through their b*itchy publicist who always responds with a “no comment.” But whatever the case, there is a plethora of celebs out there tweeting.

Some are hysterical, some are sharing what they eat, and some are just as pathetic on their Twitters as they seem to be in real life.

And all of them provide us with yet another reason to procrastinate that paper that’s due in – uh- 2 hours. So, here is a list of my favorite celebrities who Tweet. P.S. Can someone please remind me to thank @tinafey for reminding me about the existence of Carmello bars? Thanks. Read More »

Here are a few essential beauty recovery tips and tricks.

Eating for beauty.

Totally adorable: Portia on The Ellen Show.

Perfect your first-date mojo.

Shia LeBeouf and Megan Fox? No. freaking. way.

I wonder what Miss Jay thinks of this model’s walk…

The American Idol Final 4 are rigged.

Bad news for seniors. (Sorry, girls.)

Guy Ritchie totally traded up.

Stop dressing trendy. Dress agelessly!

Jennifer Lopez does West Side Story.

Hofstra University hearts CollegeCandy!

As a semi-live-in girlfriend, I encounter all kinds of things in my boyfriend’s boudoir that he might have previously attempted to put away or hide to create a more presentable version of himself. Well those days are long gone and I am now subject to every dirty pair of boxers, week old Taco Bell leftover and wet, mildewed towel left on the bed. But these things I’m pretty much immune to. Guys’ rooms are almost by definition a hell of a lot dirtier than girls (at least I like to pretend) and all of these little things can be fixed with a load of laundry, a huge garbage bag and a little Febreeze.

But what are the kinds of things that you would never want to find in your guy’s room? Besides the very obvious (unrecognizable panties, bras, earrings, condom wrappers) I can name a few…

1. Super Creepy Porn.

You can pretty much accept the fact that there will be some form of porn in your guy’s room at some point. You can also be fairly sure that you will accidentally intercept said pornography via mail, browser history or that shoebox under his bed. (Tip: boys don’t want you to surprise them with spring cleaning; you probably shouldn’t want to surprise them with it either.) No big deal, I say, come to terms with the fact that while your guy absolutely loves hooking up with you, he will still want to look at porn. It’s just a different outlet for their sexuality and can actually improve your sex life when seen from the right perspective. Additionally, it’s a good substitute for when your boyfriend wants to get it on (always) and you don’t (rarely, but it happens). If there were no porn there would be an abnormally high amount of blue balls or of extremely exhausted girlfriends. Read More »

This is who we have to compete with? Awesome.

Obama pushes for stimulus support.

Porn star for senator?

Chocolate dipped bacon? It does exist!

How are Wall Street guys supposed to live on $500K in NYC!?

Brad and Angie hit the town in London.

Ideas for losing that unhealthy belly fat.

Ellen and John Mayer perform a duet.

Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson back together?

Drunk vision. What do you see?

Impulse buys are bad news for students.

(We’re back with another weekly installment of G.W.W.E [Guys We Want to Eff] and this week we are goin’ all the way to the top. Yes, ladies, we are takin’ it to the Oval Office, a place we have been fantasizing about for years. Barack Obama was a sexy law student, a sexy political organizer, a sexy senator, and now he is our sexy Presidente. His brains, bod and power are the perfect combination and make us wanna eff him on that big oak desk.)

I voted for Obama. Not because he was the hotter of the two candidates, but those pictures of him in a bathing suit didn’t hurt his cause. My love for Obama, however, runs deeper than simply his abilities to lead our country out of this current financial mess.

I think he’s hot. And if Michelle weren’t in the picture, I’d totally eff him.

He’s got everything I look for in a man. He’s smart (Harvard Law School grad), he’s a family man, he’s powerful, he can dance, he’s a great speaker, and he loves to play sports. He also happens to have some roots in the midwest, which just makes him a perfectly effable catch.

And he looks damn good in a suit.

Barack Obama has inspired people worldwide with his message of change and proved that anyone can do anything if they put their mind to it.

Is it so bad that turns me on? And that while he may be a bit busy at the moment (dealing with the American Automaker crisis and nominating people like Rob Namors, Peter Orszag and Hillary Clinton to his cabinet) I still wouldn’t mind sneaking into his office for a little eff sesh between meetings?

What? His time management skills are just another reason I want to eff him.

They’re trooping off to the polls in the biting November chill, snug in their Uggs and North Faces zipped to the collars. They’re waking up too early and standing around in long lines for something that isn’t free food. They’re American college students, and they are voting.

Smell that? That’s the smell of freedom. Also, American college students don’t shower much.

Are you with them – or are you against them? Political nihilists beware: the jaded, “The-electoral-college-it’s-a-broken-system-f**k-I’m-moving-to-the-Moon” attitude won’t get you anywhere this year, because cynicism is out and passion is in! If it’s such a big stick up your ass, go vote for Bob Barr or something. If he’s not on the ballot, write-in “John from College Candy.” But please, do go and vote.

And what about this evening? You probably don’t have anything important to do while you watch poll results stream in, and “Nation’s First Black President” or “Nation’s First Woman Vice President” are both perfectly acceptable reasons to skip all your classes tomorrow. This means you should drink! Read More »

The stock market is low. Really effing low. The lowest it’s been in a long ass time.

And people are freaking out.

So, in an effort to ease people’s minds, George Bush spoke. He interrupted my morning dose of Ellen Degeneres for about 7 minutes to explain what is going on and how the US Government is going to fix it. But that 7 minutes can be summed up in 2 simple sentences:

Things are bad – we caused the economy to decline worldwide – but they are going to get better. Just chill the eff out.

So, let’s relax, people. Forget about your money in the bank, your student loans, and the fact that you can’t afford your Easy Mac. Grab a bottle of your favorite (cheap) vodka, kick back on your couch and chillax.

Everything is gonna be ok!

I love Kanye West. Yes, even when he gets all cocky and “I’m the greatest in the mother effing world!” I also happen to be ob-sessed with his new song, Love Lockdown. I downloaded it on iTunes 2 weeks ago and already have 189 plays (I have a problem).

Yesterday, Kanye went on the Ellen Degeneres show to debut his video for the song (what ever happened to MTV, people?) and it is…weird. Like, really weird. Like, I think I need to be one some sort of mushroom/trippy drug to understand what is going on, weird.

Not that it makes the song any less awesome. Watch and judge for yourself.

Men have always ruled the comedy scene. From dynamic duos such as Laurel and Hardy, Abbott and Costello and Jay and Silent Bob to teams such as the Happy Madison boys (Adam Sandler, David Spade, Rob Schneider, Peter Dante, Allen Covert and Nick Swardson) and the Frat Pack (Will Ferrell, Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, Owen and Luke Wilson and Steve Carrell).

There are virtually no female comedic ensembles who can sell movies like these guys can.

In the stand-up circuit, men generally receive the biggest reception. Recently, I went to a stand-up comedy review that featured twenty comics in one night. Of those twenty, only three women took the stage. Three. WTF?

Women are pretty damn funny, so why don’t we get the same appraisal as men get? Films like Old School put the Frat Pack on the map, while the hysterical chick flick The Sweetest Thing flopped at the box office. The Wedding Crashers cast has people rolling in the aisles, while far too many people have never seen Christina Applegate, Cameron Diaz, and Selma Blair sing The Penis Song.

I took this assignment to cover the 5 Funniest Women out there, but quickly realized there is just too much talent to narrow it down so far. That said, what follows is my personal list of five of the wittiest women in the world, along with some honorable mentions. I welcome feedback, comments, and nominations, because I’m sure I’ve missed some ladies that can more than keep up with the boys. Read More »