I would understand this more if my hippie stoner high school biology teacher were starring in this video, but Isabella Rossellini? For real? I don’t understand. Why? WTF, Isabella?!

She was doing so well with the sexy shoes (that don’t match), the sexy pose, and the whole topless thing. Too bad little Jimmy got in the picture.

And what a poor, poor child. He never thought he’d have to see mom from that awkward angle again.

This balloon gives a whole new meaning to blow jobs.

Oh, this toilet paper 100% recycled? Well that’s good! Yay earth! Because that is surely what I’m noticing as I’m pulling my TP out of some mystery man’s butt. (Editor’s Note: I never thought I’d see those words in a sentence on this site.)

I have no words. None.
Ok, maybe one: EW.

I didn’t realize Mickey and Barbie were so kinky. Based on Barbie’s after-sex-hair, though, it looks like everyone here is having a really good time. You go, Little Timmy!

Yes, that is exactly what it looks like: a washing machine with an attached saddle for her pleasure. I don’t know who thinks of these things (men), or who would buy one (actually, she would), but it really exists.

Maybe we’ll start doing our laundry more than once a month?

I guess that would be a nice place to rest your wrist, but seriously? WTF? Computer nerds really need to get out more.

Is this supposed to be sexy? Maybe some sort of horrible PETA experiment? WTF? What did Kermit ever do to you, skinny girl?

He didn’t deserve this, especially whatever torture you put him through to get him on a headband. There are plenty of other (less offensive) ways to add a little green to your wardrobe!

Look closely and tell me what’s wrong with this picture.

This is either some horribly mean prank, or some really effing good whole wheat donuts.

You would think the word of the day would be more appropriate for the kids playing. Or at least worth more points. What’s next: FUPA?

WTF, Hasbro?!