For, I don’t know, my entire life, I’ve been told “do unto others as you would have done to you”...
In the words of Rivers Cuomo, lead singer of Weezer, "Smart girls, I can never get enough of those smart girls."
Today, I was pissed off. Like mad beyond belief. I can't find my Michael Kors watch that I got from Stephen for Christmas. That's when "Let It Be" came on my shuffle. It was like someone was calling from my radio and telling me to drop it.
I believe in the deepest depths of my heart that every woman has, or will, wake up in the bed of someone with the immense feeling of, "Crap. Now what?"
I didn't handle the situation well for awhile until a good friend of mine sat me down and gave me these crucial and life changing tips.
First of all, I just wanted to thank everyone because this is officially my 25th post as College Candy's resident Bold Girl. I can't believe its been six months (ish) that I've been spilling my guts and six months that you all have been reading. You make me happy my precious snowflakes.
For the last, I don't know, 24 weeks I've been sitting here talking about how wonderful and strong women are. I've also been talking about how much guys suck. But, full disclosure, women suck, too.
I probably watch He's Just Not That Into You a few times a year. It's a personal favorite. And although I've had some beef with that movie before, damn, it's usually right.
The truth hurts, fellas.
Because I think I'm a new and improved Carrie Bradshaw, I started thinking about baseball and dating and tried to form some adorable connection. Well, guess what? I did.
When Stephen and I first started dating, I had a problem with his ex-girlfriend. I told everyone that I just hated how badly she hurt him, but the truth was I was jealous.
Break ups are literally the worst. I don't care if you're the dumper, the dumpee or if it was "mutual." I don't care if you weren't even technically dating. It still counts as a breakup, and it is still the worst.
I think I have a small but very real hoarding problem. Like, I'm not going to appear on an episode of Hoarders anytime soon, but I keep things way past their expiration dates.
It took about 22 years, nine months and 34 seconds through a Burger King drive-thru for me to turn into my mother.
As long as I've lived, I've been told that women have a sixth sense. It's like our boobs can always tell when it's going to rain.