Emerald Pellot

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LATEST ARTICLES WRITTEN
Feb 17, 2014

Miley Cyrus Rides Wiener, Monica Lewinskys Bill Clinton, Is Batshit

Miley Cyrus kicked off her Bangerz Tour this weekend by simulating oral sex on Bill Clinton. Basically, it was exactly what I had imagined, except way worse.

Feb 15, 2014

One Girl's Story Of How Her College Mishandled Her Sexual Assault

"One night when we were both very drunk, I asked him to stop multiple times and he did not, and since I was concerned about him hurting me, I didn't keep pushing the issue."

Feb 15, 2014

This Plank's Life Is Better Than Yours

God, our generation is so weird and so awesome.

Duke University Porn Star Is Getting Slut Shamed By Her Peers

At the end of the day people feel like they have permission to treat this woman poorly, no matter how smart or accountable she is for her actions, because they believe a woman who has a lot of sex deserves to be bullied.

Feb 14, 2014

Valentine's Day Explained By Your Favorite TV Shows

Today is Valentine’s Day but according to twitter if you ain’t getting the V or the D, it’s alentine’s ay....

Feb 14, 2014

It Is Valentine's Day And Guess What? No One Curr

While many believe today is Valentine's Day most people are observing this day as the season 2 premiere of House of Cards.

Feb 14, 2014

Feb 14, 2014

The 16 Most Questionable Valentine's Day Gifts

It's the thought that counts, right?

Feb 13, 2014

##SoWhiteOutside Is Basically Scathing Jokes About White Culture

#SoWhiteOutside it beat Kendrick Lamar at the Grammys for Best Hip Hop album.

Feb 13, 2014

Two Teachers Announce School's Snow Day By Rapping To 'Ice, Ice, Baby'

"Will the power stop (No!)/I don't know/ Turn up the heat and let go/sleet falling down like a million missiles/bringing school delays and early dismissals"

Feb 13, 2014

Drake Goes On Twitter Rant After Rolling Stone "Misquotes" Him

Drake disses Yeezus and Phillip Seymour Hoffman? Oh no he didn't!

Feb 13, 2014

The Perfect Nail Art For A Snowpocalypse

It is New York Fashion Week so even if we are all bundled up like sweater sausages at least our nails look good, right?

Feb 12, 2014

Two 100-Year-Old BFFs Talk Bieber, Twerking And Selfies

Two women, Irene and Alice, have been best friends for 94 years. I can hardly stand some of my friends for 94 seconds so we can say for sure that their friendship is something special.

Feb 12, 2014

You Doing Things vs. Beyonce Doing Things

Beyoncé is flawless. You, my friend, are not.

Feb 12, 2014

WSJ Reporter Says Rape Is Like Drunk Driving, It's No One's Fault

I would try to unpack this analogy but since it literally makes no sense and has so many logical fallacies I can only make presumption that this moron, who was unfortunately given a platform to spread his misguided ideas, doesn't understand that rape isn't sex.

Feb 12, 2014

W Photographs Naked Celebrities In Bed

Photographers Mert Alas and Max Piggott snapped pictures of celebrities ranging from Miley Cyrus to Pharrell Williams just chilling between the sheets and called the series "Pillow Tweets".